WHY IT’S OKAY TO ADMIT YOU’RE STRUGGLING & NEED TO RESET YOUR YEAR

Things Aren’t Going Well. It’s Okay To Reset Your Year.

It may seem weird writing a post like this only two weeks into 2017, but truth be told, 2017 has started off terribly. Whether it was the minor argument with Jase on New Years Day, the confirmation of my illness post a few hospital visits last year (which sounds scary, but in reality is okay, i’m not sure how to put words on the page without making too much or too little of a fuss, but I have Ulcerative Colitis, or UC, a form of bowel disease, Chrons being the other type and one you may recognise more, it’s life long but I’ll be fine), which leads me to the incredibly tough and stressful return to work (you see the issue is, stress doesn’t help my condition one bit).

The return to work hasn’t just been fast paced and busy, it’s been unnecessarily stressful, unenjoyable and unhealthy.

I’ve had two migraines already, one so big it wiped my weekend out last week. I’ve cried with frustration, something i haven’t done in years. And in all honesty i’m fed up with this unhealthy situation. It’s not work per c’est, I love my job, my team, and my company, it’s simply some of the situations we have to deal with which cause the intense stress – external factors if you will. Whilst i’ve had positives this year too, overall it’s been shit. I’ve not started my new year with the healthy ambitions I had, my blog has been sacrificed for all my hours working to deliver against crazy deadlines for last minute and urgent requests, I’ve not been able to get active prior my trip to the Philippines which was something I wanted for both my health and my confidence, and i’ve not had the life balance I promised Jase I would have.

It’s time to admit I need to start the year again. I need to admit defeat. Wipe the slate clean. Pretend it’s the 1st January again. Close my eyes and pretend it never happened. Wake up full of ambition, motivation and positivity to make this year exemplary. Perhaps it’s even about making my goals and ambitions more manageable, maybe it’s about being more firm and saying no, but probably most importantly it’s about putting myself first and not accepting shifts the other way.

Reset. Un. Deux. Trois.

Accept The Situation.

First things first, acceptance is a big brave step in the right direction. Don’t pretend or simply push on. Take a moment, accept the situation, and channel your focus onto getting things back on track, rather than simply pushing on, in hope the course will correct itself. It Won’t. I’ve tried.

Understand The Real Issue.

Often stress or incidences of severe stress can be triggered by some external factor in your life. But often the real issue isn’t quite as simple as that one trigger, often the issue is far more fundamental or underlying. For me. It’s fair to say the reason I struggle with these extreme external stresses (which i’m brave enough to admit, most people would struggle with, it’s not just me) is because my health is poor. Mentally and physically. I’m tired, exhausted, running on chip fat, in need of some unleaded, putting myself and my health last constantly has taken it’s toll. It was a short term solution at first. But we’re encroaching on the long term now, and it’s time to stop & reset.

Put some Priorities in Place.

Me. I know that this may sound weird, but what I need to start prioritising more is me, my health, my time, my goals and my responsibilities (outside of work too). I often pick up the slack because i’m driven for perfection and I want the best outcome for myself and those around me, so when people slack, I pick up their weight, when clients call & demand, I smile and crack on. All the while, little old me inside is drowning.

But If I truly put some priorities in place (and I mean do it, not just say it), I think things can progress more positively. For me, my time is my time and I shan’t sacrifice it unnecessarily, I need time to unwind and relax in order to keep a clear and positive head, I won’t be working crazy hours to cover anyone else or ridiculous demands that warrant some stronger management from me (expect some No’s people), and finally I need to get healthy. And it’s not just because my size 8 jeans are getting dusty waiting for me to fit back in them, it’s because my body needs it to keep going.

Don’t Accept the Exceptions.

I’m forever thinking things are an exception, it’ll pass, once this big challenge is overcome things will smooth out, it’s just this one meeting i’m working towards then it’ll go back to normal, once the teams fully staffed it’ll be okay. No more exceptions. No more ‘just this once’, because it’s never just this once. Once is the gateway to always.

Do Things That Make You Happy.

Blogging. I just adore blogging, from shooting editorials, to writing posts, to reading other peoples content. When work takes over, my blog gets put on the burner, and that is not something I want to accept any more. Ultimately my goal is to continue to build mediamarmalade into a full time business for my future, that isn’t going to happen if I can’t put the effort and energy I have into it.

But it’s just not making time for my blog. It’s spending good time with Jase, my family, travelling, having my morning coffee, reading magazines in bed, falling asleep on the sofa, watching Harry Potter with the fire on. Cuddling Ruby and spending time with my sisters. More of this. Less of the rest.

Life’s short. Fill it with things that make you feel content.

I hope i’m alone in this. But you know what, i’m sure i’m not. The new year comes with heightened ambitions, heightened goals and a heightened drive for perfection. A sentiment and goal which is both subjective and unmeasurable, setting the majority of us up to fail. Because for as long as we’re the judge, we’ll never be good enough. So i’ve admitted defeat, I accept I got off on the wrong foot, but now I need to get back on my feet. And I’ve worked out the plan to help make it happen … and I hope it helps you if you too feel like a fresh start is just what you need?