Category: wellbeing

  • LIVING SLOW & SLOW LIVING

    LIVING SLOW & SLOW LIVING


    LIVING SLOW & SLOW LIVING

    A Welcomed Slow Start To The New Year & My Plans To Keep It Up


    Happy New Year everyone, a year i’m sure many were wishfully and hopefully awaiting, given all of the challenges of 2020. Although with everything going on in the US right now and globally with the continued spread and fight against Covid, you’d be forgiven for wanting to start things again already!

    I personally, aside from the societal challenges around us all, have had a very welcomed slow start to 2021, with a leisurely first week or so of living slow.

    One of my favourite new habits I’ve gotten into in the last few years is booking the first week of January off. The end of the year from a work point of view always ends up being exceptionally busy and hard work, and even though I also booked the week before Christmas off, I ended up working, emailing and dealing with things regardless … but fast forward to the first week of January and it’s the peace and quiet you wish for on your annual leave (and very nearly email free). Everyone else has paused, no ones manically trying to wrap things up before the Christmas break – spamming you 247, and my leave always feels actually restful. It’s perhaps the only holiday in the year where I feel like I get a real closure from work. So over the last few years I’ve really made a point to book the first week off and give myself a slow and restful start to the year, i’d highly recommend it.

    Given the UK is in tier 5, an effective national lockdown, and I am still home following my return in December for the holidays, there’s not been much to do except stay home and chill out. It’s not like I needed much excuse anyway, but the new year so far has consisted almost solely of Netflix binge watching and spending time with my family at home. I have a knack for being able to do little without much boredom or itchy feet to get out, sometimes I feel a little guilty i’m not capitalising on the ability to go for walks with Ruby, exercise or read my mountain of half read books, but at the same time, my lazy bottom is very happy laying on the sofa in front of a log fire in my comfy clothes. So the latter is what i’ve been doing.

    It’s a luxury that’s rarely afforded in everyday life, and so rather than beat myself up, i’m enjoying the time I have to do this.

    Whilst a whole year of this type of slow living is nigh on impossible given the need and demands of working life (and perhaps this much slothing would lose it’s novelty after a few weeks anyway, not to mention mean my physical health would take an unhealthy drop – i’m probably averaging 94 steps a day), there are a few takeaways for me, and perhaps you, that I would like to carry ahead into 2021 and beyond.

    Time to do nothing. Slowing Down. Living Slow. 


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    The last decade has felt consistently and increasingly fast, pacey and demanding, and 2020 was the first moment the rat race has been slowed down for me and it certainly has made me realise how I need those pauses and that generally slower pace – spending time where it matters, not just where’s shouting loudest. And not relying solely on holidays and weekends for slowing down, but setting boundaries and better prioritising so life more generally is calmer, more considered and less stressful. Of course you can’t rely on a global pandemic to give you those rest bites, reminders and to force you to ‘stay home’ (and nor would I want more of them either), but it’s become much clearer to me as a result of the last year that I want to live more slowly, to stop rushing, and sometimes to do nothing at all.

    Slow Living. On Purpose.

    I want weekends with no plan so that we simply can wake up and … just be. Time off work without a packed social agenda or exhausting travel plans, time to sit on the sofa, read a book, go for a walk, sit in the garden, bake a banana bread, do some yoga. Do something or do nothing, it doesn’t matter, there is no plan or expectation. Just time, to enjoy, to appreciate, to soak up and appreciate the mundane.

    Aside from last year, when we had no choice but to slow down and spend our weekends and annual leave finding joy in doing little and living slowly, when was the last time you took time away from work to simply do nothing? When was the last time you weren’t rushing, cramming and speeding through the day, week, month year?

    I appreciate for many the thought of more of ‘this’ probably fills you with dread and fear given we’re locked in and have been for so long (and I imagine more so if you’ve not been able to work too – for me nothing changed here, my job and week was just as demanding if not more but I got to lose the commute, the lack of self care and had the comfort of working from my own home), but to be honest it’s the thought of returning to the pace, demands and stress of life before that fills me with dread. I’m not sure I could physically keep up with my old self anymore.

    “The great benefit of slowing down is reclaiming the time and tranquility to make meaningful connections–with people, with culture, with work, with nature, with our own bodies and minds”  Carl Honoré

    Of course it’s not ‘doing nothing’, theres a beauty to living slowly and wonder to be found in slow living that is far more than doing nothing. It’s about finding an appreciation in the small things, not packing life to the brim in the search of ‘more’, ‘next’, or ‘purpose’. Finding joy in the smallest of everyday moments when we give it the time and appreciation it deserves. Taking time to cook and prepare your food, having dinner together, talking, and enjoying the food rather than rushing & watching the clock as it’s already 9pm and you’ve got more work to get back to. It’s enjoying a mindful slow start to the morning, a cup of tea in bed for me, rather than the usual panicked race to not be late in the office. It’s making a point of going outside for a walk and having an appreciation for nature because it’s a luxury to be able to get out, breathe in the air, and soak up the wildlife. It’s not rushing, not doing too much, not over committing, not over filling, not over pressurising yourself everyday. It’s not taking for granted the simple, yet often overlooked, moments and wonder in life. And critically, it’s not filling your time with things that don’t add any value to YOU, your happiness, your health and your life.

    I saw something recently on instagram which read something along the lines of ‘productivity is not about getting all my work done, it’s about balancing all the things I need to be healthy, happy and live’ – which really hit home to me. Slow living to me isn’t just about living slowly, it’s about boundaries, balance and prioritisation – allowing the important things time.

    ” …slow living is not about living your life in slow motion; it’s about doing everything at the right speed and pacing instead of rushing. By that same logic, slow living is not about losing time by going slowly; it’s about gaining time by doing the things that are most important to you.” Kayleigh Dray

    If you haven’t watched Disney’s Soul yet, then I also recommend a weekend movie afternoon to watch it. We can waste so much time chasing a future life we think we need or want (perhaps it’s work, money, finding a purpose or our spark, or living for ‘when we have X we can be happy’), when in reality finding beauty and appreciation in every day moments, living for today, and having gratitude for what we do have, is what ultimately makes our life fulfilling and wonderful.

    The long and short of it is, whilst I’ll never stop work, travel and socialising (they are all things I love and miss dearly), I will ensure I spread things out in my diary, make time for nothingness and slowing down, protect and prioritise my time to ensure that each day reflects all that is important to me (including my health and my mind, not just a work to do list) and perhaps just stop squeezing so much in, stressing about things that aren’t important to me and rushing to do everything right now.

    I want to maintain some of this slow living i’ve discovered, and continue to reap the many benefits of living slowly, mindfully, and consciously.

  • HOW TO ACHIEVE LIFE BALANCE: A NEW ERA FOR MEDIAMARMALADE TO GUIDE US ALL TO A BETTER WAY OF LIVING

    HOW TO ACHIEVE LIFE BALANCE: A NEW ERA FOR MEDIAMARMALADE TO GUIDE US ALL TO A BETTER WAY OF LIVING


    THE GRAPPLES OF ACHIEVING MODERN DAY LIFE BALANCE

    And a new era for mediamarmalade to support – Creating the platform, community, tools and resources needed to help you achieve the balance you really want.


    Finding balance seems to be the ultimate mystery in life for many of us.

    If you’re like me, you love your career and have poured endless energy, focus and dedication to the progression and success achieved in your field of work. And no doubt that relentless commitment has served you well and helped you achieve more than you might have thought. Yet perhaps so far in life, unconsciously, your career success has been at the sacrifice of other important things – holistic health, mental wellbeing, happiness, family, physical health? And i’m probably right in saying that it wasn’t a compromise you really thought about when you set out, it’s just something that happened as your career demanded more of you, and perhaps it’s one you’re only more aware of now, as the impact of that compromise has become more prevalent (perhaps your health took a hit, your personal life suffered, you’re mentally exhausted or struggling to keep afloat) and i’m guessing now you’re aware it’s not a compromise you want to continue making?

    Compromising really important parts of your overall happiness and wellbeing such as your mind, physical wellbeing, family, emotional state and feelings, or your spirituality (in whichever form that takes), for one area – work, it’s going to be sustainable for ever.

    You may have already had red flags, in fact you may have seen many red flags and ignored them, you may have ignored them for so long that a tsunami had to hit you full force for you to realise change was needed. Balance required. Boundaries set.

    I fall in the later of those groups, plenty of red flags were raised in the last decade of my career. In fact if quitting all my sports teams which had been a huge part of my life wasn’t an alarm enough, the rapid and chronic deterioration of my physical health (eventually) was. Weekly migraines weren’t enough to stop me for a good five years. But a couple of years ago, my body decided I needed a bigger wake up call to pay attention – and that’s when I discovered (after ignoring symptoms for another year, because I was too busy at work) I had developed an auto immune disease, Ulcerative Colitis. Stress, Alcohol, aviation – all big drivers and contributors to ill health. And all big parts of my life. Endless focus on my work and incredibly internal stress hindered by lack of confidence, anxiety and pressure, only broken by big, fun, booze fuelled nights out with my colleagues and friends, or trips abroad maximising every ounce of annual leave with a far flung escape! The more remote the better.

    Much of the stress and pressure was self inflicted, it usually is, the usual imposter syndrome, lack of self belief and confidence, and an innate need to prove I could do it constantly coupled with mentally exhausting self doubt. No one would know it. I was a swan. In control and well experienced to deliver on the surface, trying to keep myself afloat under water.

    It’s also not a set of ‘weaknesses’ I necessarily berate either – it is exactly those internal self destructors, that have fuelled me on to deliver the best I can all of the time in my job, to never want to let anyone or myself down, to work until 1am so the presentations perfect, to prepare so I don’t fail, to sacrifice ‘other’ commitments to give my work the time I needed to be as least anxious as possible to deliver.

    That self doubt got me where I am today. But what I am now learning, is that the detrimental damage it can have on your mental and physical wellbeing isn’t an okay sacrifice to make – there are ways and means to have balance. To have success and a career you’re proud of, and maintain physical, mental, emotional and holistic wellbeing.

    I am on a journey of self care and have been for the last few years (well perhaps since I was a teenager when I struggled the first time around), and I feel more passionately now than ever about finding that balance for myself, but also helping others too;  Those of us who do want to commit and deliver in a field of work, but also care greatly about our family, want to have good mental and physical health, and time for passions, hobbies, and relaxation – without that sacrificing work in itself.

    Since lockdown this energy and passion has exploded, a month or so ago i felt overwhelmed by the ideas and scale of possibility – but what I have come to realise in the last few weeks as I’ve sought a little better balance again (see it helps), is that It can start small, and build in time, that actually letting things flow is the best bet for me.

    I’ve always used this blog as a place to share career tips and side hustle advice, a place to talk honestly and vulnerably about confidence, health and self doubt, and I’ve even used it to share tips and advice on seeking balance. As my journey evolves and my understanding of (and success achieving) holistic balance greatens, as I discover new tools, techniques and resources to help achieve that balance, I want to share it with you. Jase is endlessly frustrated by my incessant ordering of books, journals, resources, but I love to read, explore and understand, and what comes with that is a whole breadth of recommendation for you too.

    There are of course tons of people talking about various areas of wellbeing (and I for one love to learn as much as I can from all these places and people), but I want to create something that brings it all together in a really simple, practical and tangible manner for people like me – something that respects careers as well as health, and helps us each create a manageable balance fitted to our own individual lives and desires.

    Whilst this space will still absolutely be a place for style, interiors, photography and of course my travels, it’s also going to be the first step and the place I start to share more about balance, boundaries and better living. 

    Not achieving health at the sacrifice of career success, but nor career success at the sacrifice of health. We want both. And we can have both.

    But to have that, we have to take the time to understand ourselves and what we need (what good feels like in all the important areas of our life, what we want to achieve, what brings us peace, joy and satisfaction), we have to build the inner confidence and strength to set better boundaries, to know with confidence that we are capable of delivering, respected in our field and believed in enough. So much so we have the courage to create balance and take time to work on ourselves, knowing that finishing work on time, calling ‘enough’ or working more flexibly to accommodate all the things we want in our lives, isn’t going to lose us that promotion, that opportunity or that job – in fact that time spent on self development, is going to make us even better, even more ready and even more equipped to tackle the challenge with skill, ease and calm.

    It’s gaining self respect, building self confidence, having good mental health practices, finding your groove with physical wellbeing, creating calm alongside the buzz, it’s building a daily routine that benefits all your desires, not just one.

    I want to talk about that. I want to practice and develop. I want to coach, help, advise. I want to create a platform to help this, I want to create a community to support, I want to create and share the tools and resources to facilitate the time out, to provide the ideas and inspiration to design your own balance boundaries. There’s so much I have in mind – some small, some huge, and so much potential in what this new era and platform could become.

    But knowing myself and what I need to not stress or get overwhelmed,  i’m not going to try and do it all at once, i’m going to start here in the space I already spent a decade building alongside my career, with those of you who are already on the journey with me, and as my knowledge and capacity evolves, i’ll start to add in those additional things, perhaps expand beyond a website and who knows what this may be in a decades time. I’m excited about it.



    SOME FAVOURITE RESOURCES

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    Watch this space x

  • DESIGN YOUR LIFE: THE OVERWHELMING NATURE OF CHOICE & WHY GOING WITH THE FLOW IS SOMETIMES BETTER FOR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH

    DESIGN YOUR LIFE: THE OVERWHELMING NATURE OF CHOICE & WHY GOING WITH THE FLOW IS SOMETIMES BETTER FOR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH


    DESIGN YOUR LIFE

    The Overwhelming Nature Of Choice & Why Going With The Flow Is Sometimes Better For Mental And Physical Health


    I’ve been reading a lot lately. i’ve always been a fan of a good wellness or philosophical book – in fact, its a weakness of mine. My regular amazon drip of mindful living, beautifully illustrated, self help books is a deeply embedded addiction. It’s less about ‘finding answers’ and more about self exploration and general understanding … and a pathological need to buy things.

    Anyway, my latest reads (and still to read book pile) covers everything from The School Of Life: An Emotional Education, The Power Of Now, Miracle Mornings and The Secret, to Yoga: The Mantra For Life, Mindfulness Journals and every book on Zen living ever made.

    I love the practices they preach, I love understanding more about human behaviour and psychology, and mostly I love the positive intent towards creating a life of better balance.  The possibility and power to design your life and create a 10/10 design in all areas – health, love, career, wellness etc.

    During lockdown i’ve been reading more and more, and as you well know by now, have been thoroughly thriving in the work from home set up – so much so, i’ve been thinking about how to design a life that facilitates the balance we’re getting a taster for now, permanently.

    But what I’ve come to realise in the last week or so, is how overwhelming ‘choice’, ‘purpose’ and designing a dream life without limitation can be. It sadly forces you to be dissatisfied with what you have, to focus on ‘more’ and to believe deep down you can have anything you want – which I don’t disagree with (PMA all the way), but, innately throwing everything open to choice and decisions can actually be quite overwhelming. What if it’s the wrong choice, what is the right path? I’m an over-thinker, worrier and stress head by nature and what i’ve realised, is that whilst I love the premise of many of the books I’ve read lately, and I of course would love to maintain some level of flexibility and have more of the things I love in my daily life (yoga, time out, travel etc), ripping up what you have now and have worked so hard to achieve, isn’t always the right answer.

    If you’re happy – you don’t need to rethink everything. Instead of paralysing yourself with choice and a million alternative lives you could lead (because if anything is possible, then anything is a go-er), simply think about doing more of the things you already love doing.

    Design Your Life, but perhaps with some parameters.


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    SOME OF MY FAVOURITE WELLNESS BOOKS & JOURNALS

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    For me, this means alongside my thriving in my job and career that I truly do love (and wouldn’t want to leave despite the standard working hour restrictions), finding better balance and making time for the other things I love – blogging, reading, yoga, travel, relaxation. Yes maybe one day i’ll own a wellness store (packed with the books, journals, stationary, wellness products & mindful living tools for others to buy) and even have my own coastal retreat for others to use, to spend time unwinding and re-finding their own balance (putting it out there, might help it become a reality); for now simply finding my own utopia (balancing  my career, my health, my happiness, my passions) and sharing my learnings on my blog with you, is absolutely perfection.

    Choice and unlimited access can be really quite stressful if you’re not clear on what your ‘purpose is in life’ or perhaps you’re actually happy and don’t need a total 180 or a life purpose to give you joy. From my experience, simply going with the flow has bought me tons of joy and success.

    I realise now my ‘Human Design‘ strategy and ‘not self’ themes are undeniably true – for me, waiting to ‘respond’ to opportunity has always been my opportunity driver, not seeking and forcing things to happen, and when i’m not in a good place, and trying to force things I end up over thinking, fixating and causing myself stress. NB: If you haven’t discovered Human Design, it’s another mind blower – combining astrology and chakras, it’s like horoscopes on steroids, but I’ve found it quite reassuring and a good guide for when I do start to overthink of worry (and freakily accurate).

    So for anyone else on the ‘design your life’ bandwagon – don’t over think it. Sometimes gratitude, taking time to reflect and focus on some small tweaks to your life is really all you need … and those big things might just flow in time.

     

  • WAYS TO STAY SANE AND WELL IN SELF ISOLATION

    WAYS TO STAY SANE AND WELL IN SELF ISOLATION


    WAYS TO STAY SANE AND WELL IN SELF ISOLATION

    Proactively Creating Your New Normal – for now, and the future


    Firstly, it feels so funny to finally be sharing these old pictures I took in my old lounge now, when we’re so close to moving into our new space and our lounge will be (aside from furniture) utterly unrecognisable. I often do this, take photos, and have them in my wordpress drafts for years before finally deciding ‘nows the time’ to share them. In fact i’ve even had this post half written for two weeks, which means I keep having to update it as everyday the situation evolves.

    As it happens, i’ve not had the mental space to post much these last few months, but with the current state of global affairs, the health warnings around Coronavirus, and of course the move to self isolation / staying home in the UK, it sparked an idea and got me to finally put ‘pen to paper’ as it were.

    Given where we are now in the UK (and given my own health situation, living with auto immune disease), i’m fully resided to the idea of being house bound  and in self isolation, and in fact finding so many positives in it – a forced moment to stop living 120mph and actually rest, be slow and enjoy some of those things I just never have time for. In fact i’m slowing so much, i’ve not even done any exercise yet – that is definitely one to change when I get the energy back. On top of the general slow living, hopefully we will also be back in our flat soon (assuming contractors are able to finish jobs given the shut down), so if anything it’ll also allow us to settle in and enjoy the space a bit more when we do get in.

    On top of my own health, I’m also really aware of other people in my life who are at risk due to health and age, but also friends who are really struggling mentally due to being truly isolated alone (especially those living abroad on their own). It made me think about the importance of staying healthy, but also sane during this time … and I had a few ideas I thought I’d share to help us actually make the most of the time living a little more slowly.


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    Overall, whist I know that ultimately there is a lot of bad to come of this situation and many individuals work and companies ability to continue will be challenged, what I do hope is that it allows us all the chance to re-set a little.

    The rat race has been forced to stop whilst we’re in self isolation, and so where we can make a positive from this we should.  Here are five tips to staying sane, staying healthy and making the most of this time off the hamster wheel, to create positive changes in your life.

    CREATE A ROUTINE 

    A big learning for me almost immediately was the need to still maintain a routine. Yes I sleep an extra 30 minutes every morning, because I now can, but I am still getting up, getting dressed, doing my makeup as I would normally for work (it really didn’t work for me not doing this, and I felt it made my skin get bad too) and having my morning brew before heading to my ‘office’ (the lounge coffee table). I’m also now actually taking a lunch break – a new routine I hope will stick when we go back to work in the office, and i’ve been very strict on closing my laptop after work and transitioning to the evening.

    Whatever your day entails, and especially if you’re not working right now, a routine can help with stability, a sense of security and consistency and help you make the most of your day within your new confines.

    START NEW HOBBIES

    Some of the biggest shifts i’ve seen already is a change in our culture around work / life balance, a respect for the need to prioritise family & health, a forced change in pace to how we normally live, more time spent connecting with family and friends, and without a commute more time to spend doing all the things we enjoy but don’t get time for … reading, painting, doodling, journalling, watching movies etc.

    Whilst I need to get better at making time for this and actually start my book pile, I’m already starting to feel that I have more mental space for these types of activities.

    My urge to you all is to use this time to start new hobbies, practice mindful living and generally embrace that little bit of extra time we now have to feed your inner child / have a bit of me time. That’s assuming you’re not juggling children’s home schooling, work, and everything else – I appreciate you guys probably don’t have more time, if anything less, BUT there’s still an opportunity to get creative and spend time away from ‘work’ and get in touch with your inner child again.

    Not only will it be beneficial to your happiness to spend a little time doing what you truly love, it’s also good for easing anxiety and keeping your mind positive.

    AT HOME EXERCISE

    I’m totally ‘pot calling kettle black’ here as I am yet to get a good routine in place – but now is definitely the time to embed healthy habits including regular exercise. For me this should be daily or bi daily yoga (I will start soon), but it could be Joe Wicks morning work outs, walks in the garden, i’ve personally even considered taking up running given how quiet and beautiful it is outside (i’m a team sports kinda gal, never enjoyed a run as they’re so boring to me haha).

    Anyway, as part of your new normal & your new home routine, this perfect opportunity to prioritise your health and fitness, so why not put those healthy habits firmly in place now. It’s also, not to mention, incredibly good for your mental health to keep active during this time.

    CAPITALISE ON ‘ME TIME’

    Again, I know for some this won’t be easy, but with less time commuting, more time together as families, and so much time at home, this is the perfect moment to capitalise on ‘me time’. More sleep, a long bath, meditation to keep you calm and positive.

    We all know how much we need this for our happiness, mental health and general wellbeing.

    TIME TO CONNECT

    One of the loveliest things we’re seeing globally is so much care and love for others. Whilst we can’t go out and about to see each other while we’re in self isolation, staying connected with video calls, whatsapp, house party apps, virtual drinks, even a simple phone call is incredibly important.

    When we get busy things like this slip to the wayside for long days in the office, but right now being connected has never been more important and if anything,  feasible – everyone is embracing video calls and more regular check ins with loves ones … even neighbours or the elderly you’ve not met.

    Take this time to catch up with all those people you might have neglected over the years due to those demanding days & work commitments.

    And when it all goes back to normal …. take these things with you. Use this time to create your new normal. Generally speaking, whilst there are terrible things happening, there has never been a better moment to re-set your life if you felt you needed to. I did, and for me this time is providing me the time to restore, get off the hamster wheel and actually prioritise living well, speaking with my friends and family more, spending time resting and making moments for ‘me’.

  • SIMPLE WAYS TO PRACTICE EVERYDAY MINDFULNESS TO DE-STRESS & BE CALM TODAY AND TOMORROW

    SIMPLE WAYS TO PRACTICE EVERYDAY MINDFULNESS TO DE-STRESS & BE CALM TODAY AND TOMORROW


    SIMPLE WAYS TO PRACTICE EVERYDAY MINDFULNESS

    Tackling Stress And Anxiety, For Today & Tomorrow


    Over the course of the last year or so I’ve been focusing a lot more of my attention and energy on myself, specifically looking after myself. After years of self neglect and overwhelming volumes of stress as a result of my career, it’s fair to say my health had never been worse.

    I talked a little about this here and here, but looking back I can see I suffered for 6 years with rather chronic stress and anxiety that I didn’t really acknowledge let alone do anything about (I still suffer now but am becoming much more aware and conscious of it). The tail tail sign was weekly debilitating bed bounding migraines, every single week, for years, yet even then I didn’t really stop and consider that this was my body trying to make me stop, let alone realise the stress that was causing them.

    As a confident, high achieving person, you wouldn’t really think on the surface there was anxiety and stress riddling away from the inside out. It was only really when I reached peak ‘unwell’ and finally got diagnosed with auto immune (Colitis) that I started to think about my health and started to realise the level of stress and anxiety I was dealing with. And sadly probably another year again until I was compelled into making some lifestyle changes and to re-frame my priorities – my migraines, skin problems and colitis reached peak, and I couldn’t continue with the constant battle of trying to feel well. It was only really this moment (a mere matter of months ago) that something clicked and I decided it was time to put myself first, over my job, and get a handle on my health properly.

    Anxiety and stress affects everyone differently, it’s personal, it’s scary and it’s often invisible. Looking back, suffering with stress and anxiety isn’t new for me, I spent my late teens pretty unwell and had three years of therapy to help me through it. And here I was again in my late twenties, with a completely different manifestation of my anxiety – auto immune disease, but ultimately being driven by the same underlying issues – stress and anxiety.

    Perhaps it was turning 30 or perhaps it was just feeling utterly fed up with living in such an unwell state, but in the last 6 months or so I’ve made a serious concerted effort to adjust my lifestyle to start living WELL. Finally making a commitment to myself above my commitment to my work. Seeing a TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) doctor has really helped, of course western doctors have too and I am on treatment for life for my colitis, but the TCM approach helped open my eyes to self healing and the real importance of looking after yourself, from the food you put in, to the management of stress to simply taking some time out each week for treatment. It also opened my eyes to how interlinked my migraines, skin and colitis is, and critically how stress terribly impacts them all. I’m now dairy and gluten free, I obviously have medicine for my colitis, as well as supplements (tumeric, fish oil, digestive enzymes & probiotics) for overall inflammation, I am having weekly acupuncture, I’ve restarted Pilates and yoga, and am working much more consciously at managing stress, dealing with anxiety and ultimately trying to create more CALM in my life everyday.

    It’s funny, as I’ve written SO many posts about managing stress and living more mindfully in the past – and whilst I still stand by those tips now, in reality they were my own cries for help and advice to myself, and as with most things you never really take your own advise. But this time it’s different, I am practicing a more mindful approach, there’s tons more I need to do, but for the first time in years I am looking after myself and I am seeing health improvements.

    So whatever your situation, however stress and / or anxiety manifests for you – it might be one off bursts of stress, constant anxiety, IBS, IBD, migraines, panic attacks, a general feeling of depression, fatigue … whatever it is – taking some super simple steps to calm down is really important, and HELPS.

    And not just calm down in the moment, but create more calm in your life so the impact of stress and anxiety doesn’t happen so often and so intensely. So today I wanted to share a few of the ways I am trying to be more mindful and some of the techniques I am finding are helping me be more calm.

    Lets talk: Tackling Stress, Being More Mindful, Creating Inner Calm


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    SIMPLE WAYS TO BE MORE CALM, EVERYDAY

    Tackling Stress, Being More Mindful, Creating Inner Calm

    5-10 MIN PRACTICES

    JOURNALLING:

    There are so many mindfulness journals available on the market that there really is something for everyone. I am quite particular about the sorts of journals I enjoy and would use, anything too laborious just doesn’t work for me, but journals that offer quick tasks that can be done without any effort are exactly what I need. I recently bought two 5 minute journals from Anthropologie (one is mindfulness and one is for the morning) and these are pitched at exactly the right level for me, 5 minute mindfulness activities that can be done anywhere, at anytime, and don’t require anything more than a few minutes of brain power.

    MEDITATION:

    Apps like Calm and Headspace are absolutely brilliant ways of adding a touch of mindfulness and calm to your day everyday, both offer free or paid for services and have such a great array of tools at your disposal. I love both for different reasons, and regardless of what you’re feeling or struggling with each day, they have an activity, meditation or calming story for you. I highly recommend both of these apps for a super simple but effective way of practicing well being and re-balancing yourself.

    At it’s most basic, spending 10 minute simply ‘being’, with no phone, no TV, no computer, no noise, no anything … sitting for 10 minutes doing nothing is enough to achieve a little bit of mindfulness everyday. When was the last time you did nothing?

    INTENTION SETTING:

    Another very simple practice is taking some time each morning or evening, just a few minutes is required, to set your intentions, think about some things your grateful for, or simply framing your day positively. Often starting the day or ending the day on the right note can make a big impact on how your day actually goes (it impacts your ability to deal with situations, and therefore manage stressful situations more positively). Intention setting is a really easy but positive tool for embracing calm, feeling hopeful and generally getting yourself into the right state to handle the day (and whatever it throws at you). State management is a super important part of mindfulness.

    1 HOUR PRACTICES

    PILATES / YOGA:

    Regular practices such as Pilates and yoga are fantastic tools for mindfulness, they are great for breathing, releasing muscle tension, generally clearing your mind and relieving stress within your body and mind. I find when I do regular Pilates and yoga I  feel much better both mentally and physically. It doesn’t have to be expensive classes, even doing a 40 minute yoga session from home is incredibly positive, or if those activities aren’t for you simply running or getting active is often a great release for people. The key is finding an activity that allows you to clear your mind, move your body and focus on proper breathing – you’d be amazed how bad many of us are at breathing properly.

    WALKING:

    Whilst walking has never been a big love of mind, a good hike does wonders for the body and mind. If you’re lucky enough to live somewhere with great scenic hiking routes, creating a regular time to get out and walk is incredibly powerful. But if you don’t live in the beautiful countryside, by the sea or in great hiking spots, it doesn’t mean walking can’t be done. A simple stroll during your lunch break, walking to work or jumping off the tube a stop early, or just ditching the car can be a great way to add some calm into your everyday – walking is a great tool for calming down and getting into the right ‘mental state’. The important thing is to be aware of what is going on around you, take in nature, breathe, appreciate the little things you observe and generally be present in the moment.

    ACUPUNCTURE / MASSAGE:

    I am a big investor in both massage and more recently acupuncture. I find massage a really important part of my ‘de-stress’ routine and it does wonders for both my physical tension in my neck and shoulders which happens more when I am stressed, but also it forces me to take a mental break too.  Whenever I can i’ll book a 60 or 90  minute massage (usually once every month or two), but I also schedule bi weekly 30 minute chair massages at work too. More recently I’ve embraced TCM and have acupuncture each week – i’m really finding this process is helping me heal – addressing the levels of cortisol in my body, healing the ‘damp heat’ I have, but also forcing me to take an hour out of my day each week for self care. Both massage and acupuncture can be  expensive, and it’s an investment I am consciously making – but if budget doesn’t allow for this, don’t let it stop you taking an hour out for some self care each week, even a regular time for a bath & face mask can do wonders.

    LONGER PRACTICES

    TIME OUT:

    I find ‘getting away’ from everyday routines and stresses a really important part of my wellness. Weekends at home, spa breaks, holidays, city breaks, anything that involves getting away from the day to day stresses of life, an opportunity to engage with something completely different and a chance to be more engaged in the ‘present’. There is nothing more mindful and calming to me, than exploring a new city, embracing the culture, architecture and food. Of course these things can cost a lot of money if you’re travelling afar, but even a trip ‘home’ or to stay with friends can work wonders. For me these are really important and something I aim to schedule for every other month or so throughout the year.

    READING / CRAFTS :

    Assuming you’re not reading a stressful thriller or horror novel, reading is another great way of having some ‘me time’ and escapism from everyday stresses. Making time to read, investing in books that bring you joy and calm, and indulging in a few hours of reading each week or day even, is another very simple but often incredible effective way of generating some inner peace and tranquility. Both of which are really important when you’re trying to de-stress and manage anxiety.

    It doesn’t just have to be reading though, really it’s about finding activities and hobbies that offer you calm and a chance to unwind – art, gardening, cooking, surfing … whatever the activity if it allows you to relax, and not feel stressed, embrace it.

    LIFESTYLE CHANGES:

    What it really all comes down to is creating new healthy habits in your life to reduce stress, help you establish time for self care and creating calm, and ultimately establishing positive new routines and rituals that help ease anxiety overall.

    The techniques and tools are endless really, but working out what works for you is key – anything that helps you live in the present, be more ‘aware’ of yourself and what is going on around you, and helping you find practices that release stress and help you maintain a calm and positive mental state (rather than adrenaline fueled for example).

    Paying more attention to the food you consume and actively fueling yourself with better more wholesome food, ensuring you get a solid night sleep (sleep is so much more important than we realise and it’s become a hugely important part of my daily routine now), getting a coach to help you build self esteem and confidence so those stressful situations become less daunting, or filling your home and garden with plants to grow and care for, taking up a regular art class or simply spending 5 minutes writing down your thoughts of the day – there are so many small and big practices you can embrace to help relieve your stress, calm your mind and relax your body, all of which help gradually ease anxiety, stress and increase your ability to live more mindfully (and ultimately, WELL).

    They just require a commitment from you, to practice them regularly, to help achieve an overall state of calm, positivity and strong physical and mental health.


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    At it’s most basic mindful practice is as simple as focusing on the present, focusing on your body, paying attention to your breathing, appreciating and being grateful for what you have, finding things that bring you peace and calm (a stroll in the garden, drawing, writing, listening to music), and setting an intention of positivity for your day. It can be done in a few minutes each day, from anywhere at anytime, and the impact will be far greater than the effort involved in finding calm.

  • THE GRAPPLES OF BEING IN YOUR ‘EARLY THIRTIES’: REFRAMING LIFE PRESSURES & ADULT TO DO LISTS

    THE GRAPPLES OF BEING IN YOUR ‘EARLY THIRTIES’: REFRAMING LIFE PRESSURES & ADULT TO DO LISTS


    THE GRAPPLES OF BEING IN YOUR ‘EARLY THIRTIES’

    Celebrating My Birthday: 18th April


    As of yesterday I am officially in my ‘early thirties’, weirdly a fact that feels more daunting than turning thirty last year and leaving my wild twenties behind me. I didn’t really feel that overwhelmed by thirty in retrospect, of course it was a little frightening to mark a decade, but my twenties had been lived to the max by the time I turned about 26, so I felt like I’d maximised those youthful years of no hangovers (!), no responsibilities, just living, working and having fun. The late twenties hit me like a ton of bricks, my health changed course, wrinkles got serious and I really felt the need to look after myself and make new healthier lifestyle habits, which I certainly have been. Fun Mel is now reserved for special occasions, and sensible Mel fears those hangovers like death itself these days. And of course I felt like I was ending my twenties having excelled in my career, I’d achieved so much more than I thought I would by that age, turning thirty didn’t change that (not in the same way turning 31 feels like it does).

    Anyway, I had the best time turning thirty, celebrated in the best ways possible, and I still felt close to my twenties, as i’d ‘just turned thirty’ … clinging on you may call it. But here we are, with a 1 instead of a 0 and suddenly every-things changed. All those scary life commitments i’d put off for ‘ah i’m sure that’ll all happen in my early thirties’ are dooming – I mean that sounds like they’re negative, they’re not, babies, mortgages, growing up, renovations, getting a dog etc is all exciting and brings so much new joy, but it’s still a little frightening as the reality of these things are that they’re serious, big commitments, and all so very sensible! And everything I’d achieved by 29 / 30 suddenly feels a lot less remarkable for someone in their ‘early thirties’, whilst for sure I’m still very young for my role, it’s not the same as being 29 in it. The ambitious, driven, perfectionist in me is now piping up … ‘is this all you’ve achieved by 31’ (ps: I know, I know. Currently telling her to eff off and pipe the eff down) … there’s not just life pressures of being in your ‘early thirties’ but now a new benchmark for  my career too.


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    So whilst the reality of being 1 day into my ‘early thirties’ is that nothing has actually changed, I do feel a slight responsibility for all those ‘adult things’ which I’ve been bucketing in my ‘thirties’ to do list, they just feel that bit heavier on my mind. My goal is to start to reframe them as positive things rather than slightly scary things … but also to reframe thirty. I have a decade ahead for all of those adult evolutions, and if I compare myself at 21 to 29 my life, me, and everything around me was utterly different.

    Turning 30, or 31 doesn’t mean everything has to be done NOW, of course biological clocks tick n’ all that pressurising nonsense, but the reality is the time will come, there will be a ‘right time’, so for now, I’m going to celebrate turning 31 just like I always like to do, with dinners with friends, a day at the farmhouse, an excuse for an over pricecd treat and big plans for upcoming holidays (ain’t no renovation going to stop me).

    Age is just a number after all.