HOW OFTEN DO YOU SAY WELL DONE TO YOURSELF?
The answer to this question is more likely than not, ‘not often enough’. Right?
You’re not alone, too many of us forget to say well done, to celebrate our own achievements and to pat ourselves on the back when we’ve done well, achieved something or had a success. Too often we rely on other people to sing our praise, to prove to us our own worth, to tell us we’ve done well.
But why? Why don’t we tell ourselves well done?
I was asked this question a while back, and it made me quite sad when I realised the answer was not that often, rarely did I say well done to myself, rarely did I accept perhaps I did a good job, and rarely did I truly believe in myself.
And that’s where todays post comes in, rewarding your achievements is one way to truly accept your successes and say well done to yourself, through a treat that really makes that hard work worthwhile.
WHY I FINALLY SAID WELL DONE TO MYSELF
I’ve always believed in rewarding yourself when you achieve something, throughout my life i’ve constantly set myself goals, to achieve the next thing and always set a reward as the ‘carrot’ to keep me going. It started at a young age when my Dad used to incentivise me with my most dreamed for things (a new phone, a trip around the world etc), not because i needed motivation to work hard (boy no, i’ve always worked hard), no he did it so that I’d start to believe in myself, start to believe I could do achieve the things I needed to (GSCE’s, A Levels, my degree, a job, a promotion etc etc). And when I did achieve whatever it was (as each time I did) I had proof that I did it, my reward.
This reward system is something I’ve kept going myself, not least because it provides a great excuse to treat myself, but also because it allows me to stop and say well done each time I achieve something in my life and career, and reinforce to myself that I can do it, I can achieve things, I can become what I want to become. It urges me to stop, reflect, appreciate what i’ve achieved, and then reset for the next goal.
I’d always told myself that as soon I reached a Business Director in my career (the level I dreamed of getting to) i’d buy myself the Chanel Boy. At the time it seemed so out of reach and so far away that I didn’t really ever dream it would come true … but you see, that’s my self doubt speaking. Actually I achieved this at the end of 2014, relatively early into my career given i’m 27 years old. But I didn’t buy the bag … if i’m being honest I think it was because buying the bag would mean accepting i’ve achieved what I said I wanted to in my career … accepting it’s okay to slow down a little now perhaps, to stop pushing myself so hard and running at full speed everywhere I go? Anyway whatever the reason, price or a psycho babble, I didn’t buy it, and instead I adjusted the goal … when I’m Managing Partner (my newly defined next goal) or when I turn 30 (always pushing on for the next thing you see, not stopping to say well done, you achieved what you said you wanted to).
But something happened this easter, nearly a year and a half on from actually achieving my goal, I decided it was time to truly stop, accept and reward myself. To say well done for achieving what I set out to at the beginning of my career and to treat myself to the bag of my dreams. The bag i’ve had dangling at the end of my stick for 12 year … the Chanel Boy. And BOY, did it feel good.
You should read my post about embracing the ‘CAN DO‘ attitude if you too struggle with self belief sometimes!
THREE REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD START REWARDING YOURSELF
You acknowledge your hard work
Rewarding yourself when you achieve your goal is a sure way of accepting, acknowledging and saying well done to yourself when you have achieved what you set out to. It makes you stop, appreciate what you’ve worked hard to do, and reward your efforts with something that will truly make you happy … but importantly something you’ll remember forever as being the moment you achieved something important to you. My Chanel Boy will always be a reminder of what I achieved in my career, at the age of 26 (at the time I got promoted), a reminder that I exceeded my own expectation and proved to myself that I CAN do it..
You create positive reinforcement (it’s motivating)
Naturally having a lovely treat at the end of a hard and exhausting period (because most the time to achieve your goal, hard work, determination and persistence is what it takes) is the perfect way to end the era. But importantly, it ends the process on a high … not a low. This is a great way of positively reinforcing the notion that your hard work does pay off … and doesn’t just cause you stress and upset along the way (which it often does sadly). It’s motivating, not just for the goal you’re working towards now, but also to keep going, to keep setting goals and to keep achieving more.
You define and value your own successes
And if I needed to spell it out a little further, setting goals and rewarding yourself makes you truly define and value your own success, believe in your own worth, and accept your own value. As I said before, we often rely on other people to tell us we’ve done a good job, and more than that we rely on other people (or society in general) to tell us what success looks like. But by defining and rewarding your own success, your own goals, and your own dreams, you start to create the life you want to lead, but also a more mindful and happy one, because you’re always working towards and reinforcing your own KPI’s, your own goals and your own definition of success.
CHANEL BOY: LAMB SKIN & GOLD TRIM
And so there you have it, the three reasons why you should start rewarding yourself more and a little insight into my own story too.
As I mentioned briefly, I believe it’s important that you define your success and ambitions, and your rewards should be intrinsically linked to those goals. Whether it’s getting the grades you want in your degree, achieveing something in your career, getting a promotion or perhaps it’s something to do with your blog (taking it full time or turning it into a successful business – this will be a future goal for me). Whatever it is, you should define it yourself, and set yourself a reward accordingly. My Chanel Boy was 12 years in the waiting … and so a big reward which I saved for for a long time. But your goals and rewards can be much smaller and much more frequent, finishing a project and treating yourself to a lovely dinner out, or something bigger like graduating from univeristy and perhaps treating yourself to something more sentimental and memorable. Rewards don’t need to be expensive, not frequent, but they should be sentimental and memorable, something you’ll always remember, something meaningful.
There’s no right or wrong, and really the end goal is just to make sure you believe in yourself, that you know your value and ability, and that you accept your achivements and are proud of them and yourself.
Do you set goals and reward yourself regularly? Do you say well done to yourself often enough? What do you think of these tips to help encourage a healthier approach to believing in yourself.