Tag: wellbeing

LEARNING TO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF

Is It Time you Started taking More Care of Yourself?

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while then you’ll have no doubt seen a good few posts in the last few years about my health, my quest towards a better work life balance, and importantly my desire to get more active, less stressed & generally live a little more mindfully. One thing i’d say is that I’m very good at talking about the things I know I need to do to improve my health, but in reality, less good at committing to them! Of course I’ve made improvements, I’ve managed to find a better balance with work and me time, i’ve slowly started to get de-stressed through my yoga and pilates and i’m certainly more considered with my social diary (#notsorry), but I have a long way to go.

After suffering from yet another migraine this weekend (frustratingly at one of my best friends weddings too) it was then my friends, jase and even my friends parents commented on how poorly I look after myself!

Initially I was thrown. I mean I felt like I had made such big improvements that surely I was looking after myself better now than ever! But truthfully when I dug a little deeper, they had a point! Despite living with bowl disease I realised I hadn’t taken my daily and life long medication for the last two weeks. Let alone actually adapt my diet to help my symptoms (and stop saying yes to gluten filled goodies which I know I shouldn’t eat). Despite knowing about my friends wedding for over a year, I still had a last minute panic due to a sheer lack of organisation (giving myself time is not something I’ve learnt yet). Yes my yoga helps but the tensions i face require far more action than I take, not to mention some actual cardio to shed this 1.5 stones which I fundamentally hate). And at nearly thirty years old I still have not managed to suitably water and feed myself … having breakfast is one change I am making immediately. You get the picture?

Put simply it’s the basic care I seem to forget about. Drinking enough water, looking after my bad tummy, giving myself time to rest, fuel myself and prepare for the things I need to do! Don’t get me wrong I’m not starving and living in debt, it’s more just that healthy lifestyle that I know I need to give myself and prioritise.

So with that in mind. Here I go again with my acknowledging of the situation and my promises to sort things out! I’m confident I can do it, and I have three healthy habits already in mind which I truly hope will make a difference. To me, and maybe even you too, because I’m sure I’m not the only one right?

THREE HEALTHY HABITS I’M COMMITTING TO

Small Steps To Better Look After Yourself 

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MY SLEEP ROUTINE

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I’m sure I’m not alone with the morning struggle. For me most mornings look like a 45 minute snooze, a mad panic to get my train, and a sweaty sprint to the office, usually resulting in a 40 minute late arrival. I’ve tried to be better, but I can’t. I am constantly tired in the morning. I barely function before 10am and the thought of getting up with time to have breakfast, a cup of tea and maybe even a 20 minute work out is laughable.

But one thing I’ve realized is that this morning routine is setting me off to a bad start everyday.

First of all it’s not helping stabilize my blood sugars which I know hinders my migraines, it’s certainly not helping me balance my work life balance with my constant lateness, and really it’s not eliminating stress, it’s adding it.

I’m not going to promise myself a 6am start, a morning yoga session and a hearty breakfast every morning because I know I won’t deliver on it. But what I am promising myself is a better bed time. I’m going to start hitting the hay at 10:30pm so I really am getting a good amount of sleep. I’m going to give myself an hour to get ready in the morning – it will mean waking up earlier, but it will importantly mean I have time, time to do whatever I need to do! And I’m going to start having breakfast …

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MY DIET

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Which leads me to healthy habit number two. My diet.

Now i’ll start by saying this: Generally speaking I am a very very healthy eater so ‘diet’ is a funny one for me. However the regularity of my eating and my evening portion sizes are an issue. I also am not the most religious person regarding my need to cut our gluten, which clearly isn’t helpful especially given my UC. And Alcohol is also a sore topic.

I’ll start with the first issue which is my regularity. As mentioned breakfast is non existent. I’ll run on coffee until mid day before hitting starvation around 2pm. And my evening meal is what I live for, which inevitably means I eat a portion for 4 people (a healthy meal, but probably way too much)! I’ve never eaten breakfast, i’m not hungry until 11am earliest, I don’t have time and I don’t really want to eat more (I know I know, stupid mentality). However I’m starting to come around to the idea that breakfast could be quite a simple solution to not only my energy problems but also my migraines AND my desired weight loss (according to theory). So I’m committing to some breakfast alongside my daily coffee, starting today!

Secondly, gluten! Now gluten has become a rather hot topic in the last few years, it’s an ingredient that almost seems fashionable to cut out. But trust me when I say embrace gluten if you can! I’m intolerant, not celiac, but was advised to pretty much cut it out 6 years ago. I would say on average I lead a 85% gluten free diet (i’ve never eaten bread on the regular, it’s pasta and sausages that let me down), but I am renowned for over indluging on special occasions! The problem with that is that special occasions can become regular, and before I know it i’m doubled up with stomach issues! Add to that the problem of bowl disease, it’s fair to say i’ve not customized my diet to better help my problems! A friend at work is a nutritionist and was gobsmacked I hadn’t been advised to change my diet after being diagnosed with UC, so with her help i’m hoping to make some positive changes to what I eat, and not just how often!

And finally alcohol. It’s been a problem since I first discovered it. I’ve never been able to properly digest it (the UC revelation explained A LOT), it makes me exceptionally sick the next day (and I mean really sick) and it also makes me fat. However, I enjoy it, I love the process of celebrating with fizz or enjoying a bottle of wine with my friends and my job means social events and parties are a regular! This isn’t about cutting out alcohol, but it’s about being careful, being hydrated enough to tolerate it, and choosing my drinks and quantities carefully to avoid a day spend in bed worrying I might not make it through.

Oh and water. I must must must drink more bloody water.

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MY TIME

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I’m the girl that’s always late. For everything. I’ll be late to my wedding and my funeral i’m certain. I am terrible. I’d like to blame my mum as we’ve always been late, but the truth is i’m old enough to manage my time better and i’m still useless. I never allow enough time, I always end up running behind and I am constantly stressed as a result.  but it’s not just that … it’s prioritizing time for exercise, time for myself, time out with Jase! It’s saying No to protect my time. It’s saying yes to myself and my own time needs.

The irony is I am very organised and time proficient at work (it’s something people often comment on), but it’s almost like I use all my energy up inside the office and so my time management outside of work falls by the wayside. I commit so much time and energy to my career (I have got much better at this I should say). I often forget to prioritize that time to go to the gym, or to actually relax before work starts, or rest, or run my errands, or simply fit in a massage every now and then!

I am a total contradiction in and outside of my work when it comes to time, getting things done & running a tight ship!

My personal life, but more specifically ‘my life’, is always what slips. And I know I need to change this! My #NotSorry revelation was a revolution, but there’s more I must do to give myself the time I need to be mindful, well, healthy and balanced. The morning and bed time routine is part of it. But perhaps a little being a little more demanding and protective of my personal time is what I need to do! If only just to give myself time to actually look after myself! And just time out, time on the weekend to do nothing, time away from the blog, away from work, away from others demands, time to just sit, walk, potter and be! More time at the beach …

It’s a funny topic, one I’d love to know if you relate to or not. Most my friends around me are totally together and have a wonderful and much more healthy lifestyle and balance. Whether it’s a regular morning routine, a healthy gym habit or a better perspective and balance as a result. Yes I have good career success, but do I have good heath? No! Not even close! And really what is life without good health? I’ve accepted the truth, and I’m going to start trying to make improvements today!

FINDING YOUR HAPPINESS

Five Ways To Get MORE Happy Every Day 

Happiness is one of those emotions which I only wish we could bottle up and store in it’s gallons ready to guzzle down in thoes darker moments when we look back and long for those happy times, those moments of joy and those fond experiences, places and people that made us fill up with happiness.

Happiness is something we should all feel, embrace and share! Not something we should have to try hard for. But sadly some days we all do.

That being said, for me happiness often comes from the most subtle and small of events or moments, not just those grand gestures or celebrations. And there’s so much we can do on an everyday basis to help fuel those little moments and bring an aura of positivity to our lives.

As I near the big three zero, I’ve certainly learnt that positive lives require great amounts of empathy and perspective, empathy for those around you and the emotions they may impart on you, and perspective to help us process and deal with the things every day life throws at us. It’s easy to let even the smallest hiccup ruin a day, cause a row, or create a rippling earthquake of negativity in your life. But this is where perspective can save you! Understanding, accepting, processing and dealing with things in a much more pragmatic and empathetic way, not only ensures you live and feel more positive and happy the majority of the time, but also this sense of calm also rubs off on others, passing on the positive effect.

It’s easier said than done for you! And happiness is something that some days we do have to work hard on and focus on achieving! In those times and on those days, I find a few simple little tricks help to positively impact my day and add a little more happiness to my day, every day. I thought i’d share them with you today.

FIVE WAYS TO ADD A LITTLE HAPPINESS TO YOUR DAY

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PASS IT ON

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Whatever you want to call this theory, it works. The pass it on theory suggests that a positive action will have a perpetually positive impact on those you pass it on to! For example hold a door open for someone in the morning, or let someone take that seat on the tube, and not only will you envoke a positive and happy feeling on them, you’re also inspiring them to pass on the positive gesture too! Not to mention that actually it feels good to do good!

One of my favorite gestures is the morning coffee treat, purchasing a coffee for the person behind you in the queue so that when they come to pay, their coffee is a treat courtesy of you! It’s such a lovely and small action, but that will no doubt ignite happiness and delight for the person you treated.

It doesn’t have to be paid for things like coffee though, simply being nice, kind and polite can have just the same impact. It’s incredible when you think about how someone else’s behavior can impact you and your day – don’t be that grumpy dick that ruins someone elses day!

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PRACTICE POSITIVITY

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Being positive all the time is of course hard, but as I mentioned perspective is your friend on those bad days, and practicing a little bit of positivity will soon become an intrinsic and not a forced habit. Finding what brings you positivity is key, for some it’s walking, or running to clear their head, others it’s the innocent joy of a dog, or meditating to start each day correctly. There’s not one size fits all, but I’ve most definitely found that my weekly yoga and Pilates classes certainly help channel my positive energy, relax me, clear my head and help me rid my mind and body of negativity. Find what works for you and add a little of it to your day or week.

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A DAILY RITUAL

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As I mentioned above, sometimes it’s the smallest things which bring you the biggest amounts of joy and happiness. It’s quite remarkable to think how much happiness my morning coffee gives me, but that walk to the local coffee shop and motion of ordering my favourite drink each morning is one I cherish and something I continue to do simply because it helps start my day right!

Whatever that ritual or thing is, if it makes you feel happy and sparks a positive emotion, then embrace it and give yourself that moment each day. It’s important to make yourself happy as much as we expect those around us to make us happy too!

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CAPTURE A MOMENT

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Whilst I have plenty to say about instagram (we’ll save that for another time) one very positive thing it brings in my opinion, is the idea of capturing a moment, sharing the things in life (big and small) that bring  you joy and happiness, and sharing it and being exposed to others moments too! I find myself constantly looking at anything and everything i’m exposed to in daily life now with a different perspective, i’m looking at the beauty of it and wanting to capture that moment as a way of showing my appreciation.

Take the perfect sunset, a beautiful view, a delicious glass of wine, a blossoming flower, stunning packaging, a person you adore, a funny picture … anything! Those little things we see everyday can go missed so easily, but by spending more time looking, seeing and appreciating your surroundings the more happiness and positivity you’ll feel!

It’s finding happiness in those little things that makes the biggest impact.

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MAKE A CALL

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The ones you love and adore are often the ones that bring true happiness to your lives and days, but of course the side affect of a busy life is often that you don’t get to spend the quality time you’d like with the people you love the most. That doesn’t mean they’re not there though – making time to place a call, sit down and chat, catch up, laugh, cry and share your day is a super simple action that can really bring a shed load of happiness to your day! It’s easy to forget to call, lose track of time, and even just feel too tired to squeeze in that coffee, but making a little bit of time everyday for some lovin’ with your favourites is a miracle cure for any bout of sadness! just give it a try.

I’d love to hear how you practice positivity and how you embrace happiness in your daily life? Did you find any of these tips helpful?

PERSONAL WELL BEING

How Yoga & Pilates Has Improved My Health & Well being

I’ve always been big into sports, when I was younger I played netball 4-5 times a week, club, county, school / college, even captain at university. I’ve always skied and even used to slalom race as a teenager. And more than that I was super into keeping fit and healthy, with regular gym sessions, studying sports at school and taking up pretty much any extra curricular activities there was going (rounders, trampolining you name it). When I moved to London this transitioned more into regular classes and creating a work netball team to play in the London leagues. But ever since joining my current company and taking on my new role I let my health slip, both physically and mentally, and my time and capacity for fitness became non-existent. And I didn’t do anything to fix it.

For the last three yeas I’ve played no netball, I’ve barely made it to the gym let alone lived the active life I used to lead. But when I got diagnosed with UC (bowel disease) at the end of last year and had the shock realization of how important my health and well being really was I decided I truly did need to make a change.

Of course I want to shed the 1.5 stones I’ve gained in the last 3 years, but that fact made me fear exercise and the serious journey I needed to go on to get back to my normal self. Diets did the same. Instead I decided that I wanted to make positive life changes, I didn’t want to drown myself in pressure to get fit, or put so much stress on my already manic diary that I barely had time to stop. I decided to take up weekly Yoga and Pilates, a class of each a week, with my colleagues in the office during our lunch breaks (fortunately we have ace trainers like Fat Buddha Yoga who come in and run the sessions). It really was too hard to turn down, and it’s very easy to squeeze it in when it’s just so convenient.

I’ve been doing both for nearly 5 or so months now, I’ve been religious at times, and super lazy at others. But when my Pilates instructor told me the other day not to worry about the 6 weeks I’d missed due to work commitments, because this wasn’t a short term fix it was a long term investment, I had another moment of realization! It was just what I needed to hear and the ultimate reminder that being too hard on myself only puts me off doing it in the first place, and my instructor was spot on, one week or six weeks didn’t matter, the key was my long term commitment.

And I have to say I am committed, it’s become routine, part of my week and most importantly it’s really making an impact on my physical and mental well being. Plus, I’ve come to realise I bloody enjoy it too, which is really what it’s all about!

THREE WAYS YOGA AND PILATES HAVE IMPROVED MY WELL-BEING

Physically, Mentally & Holistically

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PHYSICAL STRENGTH

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Of course the benefit of doing both Yoga and Pilates is that they are super focused on your core strength and stability, from planks and downward dogs, to the crow and the one hundred, I leave my classes feeling worked out and like I’ve really made my body do some heavy lifting (those extra 1.5 stones I was talking about, ahem). Not only does it help me feel stronger (although a long way to go until I shed the fat and the definition starts to show) it also really helps with things like my back aches, tense shoulders, posture and relieving the general stress my body holds.

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MENTAL HEALTH

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Which leads me to my second point, you wouldn’t believe the positive impact my attendance to Yoga and Pilates has made on my mental health as much as my physical health. The sessions are both relaxing for my mind and my body, I love the process of setting intentions at the beginning of each yoga session and spending 10 minutes at the end simply laying still and unwinding after the class. The time out each week does wonders for my positivist and is the most wonderful stress cure – I find both classes completely de-stress my mind and my body. And given my UC is very much affected by stress this is super important to me now.

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HOLISTIC WELL BEING

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The other issue I face within my day to day life is migraines, which quite naturally are hindered by stress, tiredness and of course bodily tensions. Whilst I didn’t start the classes for these reasons, I can’t deny the improvement on my migraines since I’ve started to take them up! The tension in my neck and shoulders is definitely an issue for my migraines and the regular stretching and building my core has really helped reduce loosen these muscles and in turn (alongside the de-stressing) has helped reduce the frequency of my migraines.

THE GREAT ESCAPE

Why A Weekend In The Country Is The Ultimate Way To Clear Your Mind & Re-Focus

Most weekends I head out of the city, either back home to Winchester or to where Jase grew up near bath, sometimes somewhere further afield for a little staycation. You see, sometimes you have to get out of the thick of it to re-balance and re-focus, and it just so happens that the countryside and the seaside are my ‘happy places’. As soon as I even smell that fresh sea air or find my views filled wth countrside my body just relaxes.

“There’s no wifi in the forest, but I promise you’ll find a better connection”

I shared my tips and journey to living a little more stress free and finding a bit of balance more balance in your life not long ago, but today I wanted to share a few of my more ‘quick fix’ options. For those times when you’re desperate to unwind, need to get yourself back on track or simply relax.

THREE EFFECTIVE WAYS TO CLEAR YOUR MIND & RE FOCUS

And why the countryside is the best place for it 

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TAKE A WALK 

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Walking is something I’ve learnt to be one of those miracle remedies for pretty much every problem you’re facing, least not stress. Even if you’re stuck in the office and up against it with a deadline the benefit of taking a 10 minute break, to walk, breathe and just stop your brain working so hard, far overweighs the time lost working. Walking is one of the most effective ways of clearing your mind, boosting your creativity and not to mention getting you breathing properly again … and so removing tensions in your body and mind. One of the most helpful things I learnt at a week long creative training course a few years back, was the power of taking a walk to resolve things, either talking in your mind, or with another. The power of walking and talking revivals a therapy session I assure you!

For me there’s no better place to get that sense of clarity and calm than taking a stroll in the countryside, exploring new places or walking along my favourite beaches.

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ENGAGE YOUR TRIBE

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We all have those people we can turn to at any time of day, no matter how long ago it was when we last saw them, and know they will be there for us! These people are your tribe, your cheerleaders, your support network. And it’s in those most stressful times when you need a little clarity that they come into their own. Whether it’s talking it out in person, on the phone or even just on email, these friends are those you can rely on to help you get back on track. I personally have at least 5 people I know I could pick up the phone to at any time of day who could help me clear my mind and re-focus, whether it’s work, emotions, life, whatever the topic I know my tribe is there to support.

And if worse comes to worse and you can’t get a friend on the other end of a line – write it out. To Do lists help clear the mind, focus your efforts and give you some direction!

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SWEAT IT OUT 

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Bloody exercise. The answer to everything right? But truth be told, there’s no denying the impact an hour of pilates and yoga has on my mindfulness and stress levels, and I know so many people who turn to running when they need to shake some shit off.

Exercise is a seriously effective way of clearing your mind, talking through your issues mentally, and finding the endorphins and motivations to re-focus yourself.  Often exercise takes a lot of planning and preparation to fit in to busy schedules, but the benefit of something like yoga is that no matter where you are you can practice it, and not only that but there are so many videos, apps and tutorials to guide your practice that really there’s no excuse not to give it a try!

So whether it’s a preemptively signing up to a few classes each week so you’re making time for yourself, or throwing on your running shoes after a stressful day in the office, adding a little more exercise to your life is really impactful.

And of course when time allows there’s nothing better than heading home for a weekend, spending time with your loved ones and for me just cuddling up to Ruby my dog! Animals are another one of those secret weapons that instantly dissolve your worries as soon as they snuggle up in your lap! What more excuse do I need to get myself a little pup in London …

I’d love to hear your tactics for clearing your mind and re-focussing? Do you find walking, talking and exercising to be helpful too?

EVERY DAY POSITIVITY

It’s another week, and another week of the day to day grind. But recently i’ve been trying to make everyday that little bit better, to try and keep my stress and tensions at bay but also to live a little more mindfully, something that everyone from my colleagues, to my osteopath to my regular massage guy has suggested to me. I get the picture guys. Anyway, mindfulness is all about living in the now, focusing on the present, enjoying the moment, aways, and it takes a little bit of practice everyday to master. One trick I always suggest to anyone who’s feeling a little below average is to start the day by thinking about and acknowledging the 5 things you’re grateful for … from your morning coffee to that grand plan you’ve been working on.

No matter how big or small, its important to appreciate the things that bring you joy and make you happy. Positivity breeds positivity and for me, this is one of the easiest ways to spark a little chain of happiness

Which leads me to today’s post. You may remember earlier this year I opened up a little about my struggles and stresses, and how I planned to start my year afresh. Well that’s exactly what I did. And as we’re now well over two months on, I felt compelled to tell you a little bit about how i’m gradually turning things around, reducing my stress, living a little more well and generally practising mindfulness a little. Now don’t get me wrong, i’ve not mastered it (yes I’m talking about you Mr Migraine from the weekend), but truth be told I do feel like that spring is back in my step, like i’ve gained some more perspective (most situations just need a little rational perspective to shrink the stress they induce).

Often it’s the small things that bring you joy, and adding a few more of these to your life can make all the difference in the world.

FIVE THINGS BRINGING ME EVERYDAY HAPPINESS

YOGA & PILATES

I used to absolutely love doing Pilates a few years back, not only did it transform my body without me realising, but it cleared my mind, chilled me out and provided an incredible break from the daily grind. As my work load got bigger, taking breaks was something I neglected for far too long, but a few weeks ago I decided to sign back up to not just Pilates but Yoga too. And not after work, but during my lunch break. A triple success story, i’m taking breaks, i’m doing exercise and i’m distressing. I’m already starting to look forward to my next sessions which is a great sign.

MORNING COFFEE

I don’t know what it is, but a good coffee in the morning brings me so much joy. Whether it’s the notion of walking through my village to the coffee shop, having a fresh brew to wake me up, or just the few minutes to myself before the day begins. I don’t quite know how or why my morning coffee brings me so much happiness, but it does. It’s a sacred ritual that starts my day with a little positive spark.

MY STYLE SPARK

Getting dressed each day is more of a struggle as a part time fashion blogger than it should be, but I really do find it difficult to pick a look each day and actually look my best. On a working week I often find myself reverting to the same kinda look day in and day out (tiredness & early mornings are to blame), but recently, whether it’s a result of my new Yogalaties (all the love for The OC & Sandy Cohen for coining this term) or general positive mood i’ve been getting my style mojo back a little. The better I dress the better I feel. It’s a fact, so making sure I make a little effort goes a long way to making me feel better each day. And there’s nothing like one of my favourite bags to give me that extra boost of happiness … boy those babies make me happy!!

EVENINGS OFF

When I get busy the first thing to go is my evenings, it’s all to easy to fall into a routine of getting home at 8/9pm everyday, eating dinner, falling asleep and simply spending no real time away from my desk. But since I got back from Hong Kong a few weeks ago now, I’ve made a commitment to leave on time as much as I possibly can. Really, just to prioritise myself more, say no, be pragmatic, take back control. Getting home at 630pm opens up a whole world of possibilities for fun, relaxation, time with friends, movies with Jase, time for an evening pamper (i’ve rediscovered baths and the sanctuary they offer).

PHOTOGRAPHY

I just adore photography, taking pictures, editing pictures, creating stories with them. Its probably my most favourite thing about blogging and one of the things I focus most my energy on. But juggling a career and a side hustle means it’s not often I actually can shoot and enjoy spending time taking photos, making the most of the light & generally appreciating my surroundings. When I travel i’m in my absolute element; unlimited time to take pictures, capture moments, and spend time creating content for my blog. But I wanted to bring a little more of this into my everyday life, not just the odd weekend or when I’m travelling.  So i’ve recently started carrying my Olympus Pen around with me and making the most of my iPhone 7+ … so that when a moment crops up, I can capture it.

I’m also spending more time on my instagram (which Is finally starting to grow a little, hooray), pinning inspiration to my photography boards and planning my upcoming shoots. I really want to take my photography to the next level and spend more time shooting. It’s my passion project if you will …

And this look sums it all up, a weekend spent back home chilling with my sisters, taking time off from stressing, shooting in the morning sunshine after i’d grabbed a coffee from my favourite coffee shop back in Winchester, and wearing my new suede trousers and Chloe Hudson. It doesn’t have the be grand adventures and big achievements that bring you joy and happiness, you can find happiness in the mundane, the everyday, the little and the small. The key is to open your eyes to these things, acknowledge them, and maximise them.

Live The Life You Actually Want to Lead Today.

You may have noticed that a lot of my lifestyle editorial in 2017 to date has been about living well, setting goals for a better life balance, admitting struggles on the quest for perfection, and finding ways to be more mindful everyday. I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, editorials on mediamarmalade truly come from my heart and as such they’re often reflective of the things i’m thinking, feeling, struggling with. More often than not my blogging tips or lifestyle tips are written as much to help me as they are to hopefully inspire or help you too.

So it goes without saying that the editorial focus on wellness and creating a lifestyle that fits your life goals and career ambitions this year to date, is something I’m truly striving to achieve this year. Work, Life, Health Balance. Once & For All.

Yes I failed at first (well in all honesty i’ve been failing to find that balance for the last 4 years), but after a well timed two weeks adventure in the philippines, I have the opportunity to start a fresh, re-set, set my boundaries again, agree some principles for my life and make sure I commit this time around to giving less fucks to the things that aren’t either in my control, making me happy or helping me live healthily (aka life balance, stress, getting active), and more fucks to the things that matter to me.

Time to truly master the art of happiness. #notsorry.

So today, I thought i’d start the working week with a little something to help inspire me, and you, to truly start leading the life we want to lead, and actually making sure it happens!

THREE STEPS TO HELP YOU LIVE THE LIFE YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO LEAD

Your Basic Happiness.

Happiness doesn’t have to come from material things in life, nor societies norms (like marriage, material possessions, salary & promotions, the things that often we can get caught up on without truly thinking if they really fuel our own happiness). Understanding what actually fuels your basic happiness is really important if you want to lead a content life everyday, because that should become the basis of everything you do!

I wrote a whole article about defining your life KPI’s last year (if you want to set yours then definitely check it out), but ultimately it’s the process of defining what it is that makes you actually happy and what ultimately you want in your life in the long & the short. What do you want your life to look like?

For me, good health, adventures and travel, quality time with Jase, my family & friends and a feeling of achievement (in my career & blog, as well as my personal life for example) are key to my  feeling of happiness. So fucking off my career (and the severe stress that I know comes with it), to have a simple life & a low pressure job sounds great at first, but ultimately I know it won’t make me happy forever because I am driven to achieve and so for me, it’s more a case of crafting a balance!

Of course there’s lots of small milestones that will help me achieve these very broad (and not very SMART) goals and there’s also lots of very small habits or rituals which also bring me little bursts of contentedness (my morning coffee is one for example), but generally speaking knowing what it is that makes me happy, means I can spend more time focussing on doing those, and less on the things that don’t, and importantly gain perspective in moments when my happiness or health is being jeopardised.

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Principles For Life.

Once you know the things that fuel your happiness and inner content, you have to start prioritising them. Now this. This god awful principle in itself is one that’s so much easier said than done. Trust me. I’ve written goodness knows how many posts in a  similar vain to this over the years, sharing my journey to get my life back on track and find better balance … and my biggest learning?

I need to take my own advice.

So the next few sentences I say with gritted teeth, because I truly understand that it’s all very well in principle to want to work your contracted hours yet be CEO by the age of 30, go to the gym whilst spending time socialising, set up a successful business alongside smashing your career, be the best girlfriend, sister, daughter and friend, all the while doing the things you want, living the dream and looking like Giselle. It’s laughable.

But, we can help ourselves. And I for one am finally ready to start doing and not just saying. Principles for life are rules, they are binding and should be committed to like your daily teeth brushing routine. They are principles that enable you to achieve your basic happiness. They are the guidelines that will help you achieve your milestones without sacrificing yourself along the way. They’re simple. They’re effective. They should be achievable.

Many successful women turned ‘self help’ authors like Arianna Huffington & Sarah Knight for example have talked about the value of setting life principles or ‘fuck budgets’ if you’re a ‘Life Changing Magic of Not Giving A Fuck’ convert, to help achieve a better balance in life.

Your priorities should be your own, there’s no right and no wrong, but they will help you achieve happiness. For me, ensuring that every working day isn’t spent in the office until 10pm and ensuring extra pressure and stress is going to add value to my career and not just kill me on the way is key. A better commitment and prioritisation of my time will help ensure that being active becomes part of my life, ensure that when I spend time with loved ones it’s quality and not distracted, ensure I have time to travel as much as possible and give quality time to my blog (and ultimately my future) and importantly to ensure that stress is something that is significantly reduced as a result.

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Commitment to You #NotSorry.

Sometimes it requires a little selfishness. An attitude of #NotSorry if you will. But mostly it just requires some commitment to yourself. Focus on your priorities. A commitment to put yourself, your health, and your happiness first.

No one else can do it for you, and this is where i’ve slipped in the past.

Hoping external factors will respect my goals and my personal health and happiness, letting my principles slip once too often and as time goes on, slipping back into that rut and that unbalanced work life balance becoming the norm. Where i’m sat wishing I could just start living the life I want to lead. And promising that tomorrow will be the day.

Well Tomorrow Has Arrived. It’s Time To Start Doing. And Not Just Saying.

I’d absolutely love to hear about your principles for life, if you have any that is? And if you don’t I’d love to know if you can relate in anyway to my experience and my drive to set principles that will hopefully help me live a more balanced life? If you’re looking for more help or inspiration on the topic then have a little browse here.

Time To Sort Your Shit Out & Start Living A Little More Mindfully.

After writing this post last week I had so many lovely messages, email and calls from readers, friends, family and fellow bloggers, sharing their love and support and generally just giving me a little virtual hug. It was lovely to have so much kind and genuine support, and it was lovely to hear your words and advice too.

Off the back of my realisation that it was time I sorted my shit out I decided it was time to act. It was time to live more mindfully.

Firstly I picked back up my latest Sarah Knight Book ironically called ‘Sort Your Shit Out’ (my sister knows me well, a Christmas present put to good use already) and secondly, I decided it was time I started to live a little more mindfully. Mental health after all is just as important as our physical health, and mindfulness is one way to help keep that mental health in tact.

Being mindful and well is something I have strived hard to achieve in theory, but not tried hard enough to practice in reality. But in my quest to get my life and health in a stable position, I’ve decided to take the practice of mindfulness a little more seriously, and that means not just buying the book, but reading it and actually acting on it too. It doesn’t have to require big, timely and life altering actions, in fact I’ve realised its often the small, quick and simple things that over time, can have the biggest impact.

And so today I thought i’d share five of the very simple things I’m doing to help me live my life a little more mindfully, and hopefully inspire you a little too.

mindfulness | ˈmʌɪn(d)f(ʊ)lnəs/ | noun

a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

FIVE WAYS TO LIVE LIFE MORE MINDFULLY

Have A Hard Cut Off

It’s easy to let work trickle into life, to let life slip away into promises of ‘tomorrow’ and it’s easy to forget to prioritise the things that you should be demanding for your health and happiness when you have work demands that eat all your time and energy. I get it. But truth be told working this way isn’t only unhealthy but its also unproductive in the long run, because burn out (whether its motivation or health) happens.

Learning to work smart is key, and for me that means committing to a hard cut off everyday.  If I don’t I can work until 11pm and be back on emails at 7am. But the more this happens, the more it comes to be expected, and that is really no good for my mindfulness let alone overall wellness. So in order to free time for other things … i’m trying to commit to a hard ‘work’ cut off. You know, leave the office on time, stop checking emails after 7pm, saying No to extra or unnecessary work, and most importantly stop picking up other peoples slack.

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Make More ‘Me Time’

And what this hard cut off means, is that everyday I get a little more ‘me time’.

Me time that I can fill with the things I love, the things that make me feel content and the things that I know help me relax, unwind and feel positive. Reading, blogging, taking a bath, watching a movie, grabbing a coffee, taking pictures, visiting my favourite cafes and restaurants, going to the cinema, listening to music … simple ‘everyday’ things that boost my positivity, give me a feeling of content and overall help me live a more mindful life everyday.

It’s incredible how different you can feel when you just spend 30 minutes doing something you enjoy throughout the day, whether it’s reading a book on your commute rather than checking your phone, listening to music whilst you walk to work, popping to your favourite coffee shop for lunch, and making time to enjoy an evening, even if that evening is simply sat on the couch watching that infamous box set.

Don’t Get So Busy Making A Living, That You Forget To Make A Life.

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Go To Bed On Time

There’s a viscous cycle that it’s too easy to fall into, I for one am only just crawling back out of the terrible habit. Up Early, Work Late, Eat Late, Sleep Late, Up Early, Work Late, Eat Late, Sleep Late … zzz. Makes me exhausted thinking about it and how I’ve been living.

It’s too easy for work to fill your waking hours and sleep to become the only way to relax. So as part of my hard cut off commitment, the plan is to have an actual evening everyday, an evening to relax, enjoy dinner, unwind and have time to myself all the while still managing to get to bed at a much earlier time than normal. The older I get the more I realise how much my body needs 8 hours sleep … so it’s about time I gave it 8 hours.

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Talk About It

I mentioned lots of people got in contact after my post last week, and it reminded me how important it is to talk to people, about anything and everything. It’s amazing how much you lock up inside of you, worries, concerns, stresses and strains, and sometimes simply talking about it can lift a whole load off your shoulders.

And if it isn’t talking about it, writing it. Writing is an incredibly effective therapy (it’s why I own 4,000 note pads), to do lists, bullet journals, 5 things your grateful for everyday, a daily diary or even just drawings, scribble & doodles can have an incredibly positive impact on your life. I always carry a note pad with me to capture ideas, make ‘to do’ lists so things can stop buzzing around my head like flies, and write my goals and ambitions out. Invest in a journal and simply jot down things that come into mind …

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Get More Active 

Being active forces you to breathe, to fight, to be strong. It’s an incredible therapy and one I used to rely on heavily to help me feel well and strong in the past, but one in recent years i’ve neglected due to a lack of time and all the other workaholic excuses I have mustered up. But getting active; walking, running, cycling, going to the gym, truly does wonders for you, your mindfulness and your overall health.

Whilst my new years resolution of getting to the gym more hasn’t happened (what a surprise), what I have tried to do is walk more, get outside, into the air, into nature and just walk, even if it’s from one meeting to the next. In London it often takes the same or less time as a taxi to walk, but does so much more for your mindfulness than back to back traffic.

I find being outside, and walking, taking in your surrounding even if it’s for 10 or 20 minutes, is often all you need to clear your head, regain some perspective and find some inner peace and positivity.

So there you have it, five very simply ways to help you live more mindfully  and the five things I personally will be doing to help my own everyday mindfulness. I’d love to know how (and if you) practice mindfulness and the things you do in your life to bring that feeling of everyday content and positivity?