Mediamarmalade

Category: wellbeing

  • WHY IT’S TIME TO SPEND MORE TIME DOING WHAT YOU LOVE (AND HOW TO MAKE IT HAPPEN)

    WHY IT’S TIME TO SPEND MORE TIME DOING WHAT YOU LOVE (AND HOW TO MAKE IT HAPPEN)

    HOW TO SPEND MORE TIME DOING WHAT YOU LOVE

    And How To Work Out What It Is That Brings You Joy

    It’s funny, despite the intentions and resolutions, the reality is most new years you come back to the daily routine feeling a little over it. They say the new year brings fresh motivation, and that returning to work after the proper break leaves you feeling ready to get going again, but this year I couldn’t have felt further from that. If anything after the two week break I returned to work feeling like my time had been stolen from me and all the things I wanted to do could no longer be done.

    All the daylight hours gone, time to do things I wanted taken, mental space to engage in things I love reduced, if anything this return to work has made me really think about and realise the things I miss in my current ‘everyday life’. It’s shown me the hole in my ‘happiness bucket’. The good thing about this realisation is that I can really quite clearly see the things I want to be doing more of, the things that bring me happiness, fuel my passion, bring me excitement and give me joy outside of my job.

    It’s helped expose the things I want to make time to do in my week, beyond just working. They may not come as a surprise, especially given I talk about how much I enjoy them a lot, but I’m not sure I realised quite how much they meant to my overall contentedness.

    Reading. Photography. Pilates. Travelling.

    Aside from the return to work, the other thing that’s got me thinking about my life and what fulfils it, is a book my friend recently recommended and was using. The book is called ‘design your life’ and one thing the book does is look at your life in four component parts: health, fun, career, love.  I haven’t started working through my book and journal in detail yet, but I really loved the premise of looking at your life in these four areas, and scoring them on your current fulfilment.

    What I realised quickly (just by spending a little time pondering the concept) is my love and career are extremely full, I have a wonderful family and boyfriend that bring me a lot of love and happiness, and a career which is extremely rewarding to me and that I feel very positive about, but actually my health and fun were two areas where I was potentially lacking. My health being by far the most impacted largely due to the lack of time and energy I prioritise to looking after myself given how demanding other areas of my life are.

    My fun was/is actually quite fulfilled because really my blog is my ‘fun’, I love writing it and find it creatively really fulfilling, but I would love more time to do more of it. And this really is where the book is good and helpful, it encourages you to spend the time looking at these four areas, where you are feeling fulfilled and where you are not, and most importantly of all, it allows you to quite visually see the balance (or lack thereof) that you have in these 4 areas. What Burnett says, is that balance across fun, career, health and love is quite critical for happiness.

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    Thinking about balancing my scorecard, and realising what I was starting to miss having all my free time taken away, I realised there were a few things I simply love that I don’t get enough time to do in my ‘current’ lifestyle. These 4 things are the things I want to do more of and prioritise more in my life moving forwards, it may mean sacrificing a little elsewhere to get the balance, but as we all know, balance is the key.

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    PHOTOGRAPHY

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    Returning to work after two weeks and not being able to take photos when I wanted has left me feeling like i’ve got a bit missing. I’ve never felt it this strongly before, but my new found love for film photography has boosted my love for taking photos, styling photos and editing photos even more. I want to have my camera on my arm at every chance I have, and I wish I could capture more, everyday, without limitation. It’s of course not possible, but it’s been quite lovely to realise how much I love taking photos and how happy the process and output makes me. I’ve rediscovered a love for instagram in the last few months and I really think it stems from finding new accounts that truly inspire me and discovering the type of photography I want to create (in fact for the first time in years my account has started growing too).  The reality is I adore my job too, so I won’t berate it too much for taking my time up most days, but I would love to really make more time to take pictures, perhaps even carrying my camera on me at all times so I never miss the chance for a shot – like I would do when travelling.

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    READING

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    I’ve always known I have a somewhat weird addiction to magazines and reading, I used to spend my weekly wage on every magazine going when I was younger, and whilst it’s no longer the weeklies, i’m now buying books, independent magazines and coffee table hardbacks weekly and the obsession is real. But the truth is buying, flicking through and having books around my house really does make me happy. I’ve started carrying some of my new travel books to work with me so I can spend 20 minutes each day just reading a few pages. It sounds obvious but often when I get busy I don’t have the brain space for a novel, but actually a travel book or ‘coffee table’ style book is the perfect thing to dip in and out of without having to concentrate or commit too much.

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    PILATES

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    I know I love pilates. But once again as soon as I get busy I drop it, and what I need to stop doing is dropping the things I love the moment I get busy. If anything I need them more than ever during those busy period because they keep me sane, relaxed and content. I did pilates for the first time in ages this week and had the best day i’ve had in a long time. I don’t know what it was, I felt internally positive, motivated and just a sense of excitement. It may sound weird, but I just think pilates must be my jam, and for that sense of positivity alone I know i’ve got to make time for it.  Annoyingly the class I just signed up to I can no longer make due to a new work commitment (see why it’s hard) but rather than just give up I now want to find a local class I can go to once a week on the evening – and commit to it.

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    TRAVEL

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    Travel. There’s not much more to say than travel is my spice of life. It’s always been a hugely important thing for me, and I know that without it I would and do feel lost. I love to travel, explore, just wonder and absorb the life around us. I love writing my travel posts, combining photography & travel together really does just make me happy. I’ve become almost obsessive with booking trips this year, I want to go to as many places as I possibly can, and it’s actually become an uncompromisable part of my life now – it’s nice to realise it and I’m happy to be so committed and unwavering about my need to travel. Work hard, play hard they say, and travel is without doubt my play time and I hope it becomes an even bigger part of my life as time goes on.

    So there you have it, four things I want to spend more time doing because i’ve come to realise I truly love them, they really spark my passion and just give me a real sense of adrenaline. Even writing this now I feel excited at the thought of doing more of it in my everyday life, and not just when I am on holiday and have time for it.

    And a few tips for you to help you think about your balance and the things you might need a little more of in your life. 

     

  • THE MAGIC OF READING & WHY YOU SHOULD DEDICATE MORE TIME TO IT

    THE MAGIC OF READING & WHY YOU SHOULD DEDICATE MORE TIME TO IT

    THE MAGIC OF DAILY READING

    And Why You Should Dedicate More Time To The Practice

    I’ve been struggling to get my head in gear to organise all the content i’ve spent the last month creating, let alone get in the zone to write. I simply love blogging, its an addiction really, but despite the fact it started as a hobby it’s a full time job in it’s own right and takes an awful lot of time and energy. Far more than most realise I’m sure.  So while I get my head around the thousands of photos shot between the UK, Greece and the US this summer and find the hours needed to configure all the posts i’ve got in mind to share … I thought i’d share a little something different. Not an outfit. Not a travel post. And nothing from my holidays away. Instead it’s something that’s really top of mind for me right now … it’s reading.

    I love reading. I read blogs daily, still now despite instagram trying to kill long form content, in fact I almost wish people blogged daily still as I miss having a good few posts to read each day. I’ve spent thousands on magazines, both glossy weekly and monthlies, as well as those coffee table keepers that cost a small fortune. I order cook books weekly (an obsession I accept), and I love indulging in good fiction for a bit of escapism like the next person. But it’s something that despite my hefty investment and love for books (and online content) that I often struggle to find the time, mental space and energy to do on a daily basis.

    Once I get into the daily work grind, those 30 pages of my current fiction gets replaced by emails and clearing my inbox, the time to sit and spend reading my favourite magazines latest issue is spent mindlessly strolling through instagram berating my own instagram for it’s lack of golden hour perfection and followers. Time spent at home in the evening is spent rush cooking dinner and catching up on the next episode of our go to series, rather than actually reading all those cook books and creating something delicious from them.

    I seem to lose the time and energy to read.

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    But what I know is that reading is wonderful for your mind, brain, creativity, wellness and relaxation. It helps stimulate ideas and knowledge, reading sapiens has taught me so much and inspired me to think a little more about what I do everyday and what I stress about unnecessarily, it can help relax and clear your mind when it’s stressing or full of anxieties, i love a good romantic fiction for this, and of course it can inspire, boost creativity and fuel your imagination and for me indie magazines, beautifully designed hard backs, ‘how to’ style books and photography curations are my go to. My shelves and coffee table are packed with books like this … pretty pictures, beautiful design and inspiration that you can pick up and flick through when the moment takes you.

    The key though, is making time for those moments. Because with the daily pressures and stresses of work, unless you make time for those ‘me time’ moments of reflection, you simply won’t read, you won’t stop to seek inspiration and you won’t benefit from the wonders of reading. It’s the same as exercise really, you need to commit and dedicate time to the practice (another thing on my list of things to make more time for).

    In fact, I actually read an incredibly poignant article a few months back featuring the likes of Mark Zuckerurg and Bill Gates who both claimed that they and their family barely use technology and social media, instead making and committing time for and indulging in daily reading and reflection. I can’t find the article link unfortunately, but it said a lot about culture that even the tech billionaires coin success and wellness down to reading and not mindlessly scrolling social feeds.

    An hour a day committed to reading is perhaps something we could all benefit from.

  • HEALTHY HOLIDAY HABITS TO BRING HOME WITH YOU

    HEALTHY HOLIDAY HABITS TO BRING HOME WITH YOU

    HEALTHY HOLIDAY HABITS

    And Why You Should Bring Them Home With You

    I long for holidays, the chance to explore new places, return to places I’ve fallen in love with a time before, and a chance to unwind, relax and focus our energy on something else, me!

    It’s fair to say most holidays I go on I leave feeling rejuvenated, re-motivated and most definitely more rested! Even trips that include adventure, lots of traveling around or little time sat on a beach leave me feeling better. There’s something about fresh air, vitamin D, time away from work and the new habits and routines you form while away that help your body and mind replenish.

    Some routines like the daily sea swim, or coastal walks are a little harder to bring home with you into daily city life, but others, the more simple daily habits you form while away are easy enough to bring home with you. Naturally the pressures of daily life make them slightly trickier to continue and prioritise but I believe there are 5 healthy holiday habits that we should all try and bring back home with us.

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    DRINK MORE WATER

    When I’m away on holiday, my water consumption rockets! Not to an excessive amount relatively speaking, it’s probably a good reflection of what we should drink each day, but by my standards this is a lot more than the usual poor performance. When I get busy I simply forget to hydrate. I’ll go a day without drinking water when I’m at work and it’s a terrible lack of self care and busy-ness is a lazy excuse for not drinking enough. When I’m on holiday this completely changes, with more time, more sunshine and therefore more natural thirst, and just simply more self awareness of myself I know when I’m thirsty and i spend a lot more time hydrating. Of course it makes you feel so much healthier … such a simple healthy habit to take home with me.

    REGULAR EATING

    Much like water, when I’m away on holiday I tend to eat a lot more regularly. Whereas at home I could go half a day without little more than a coffee if I’m busy, on holiday breakfasts and lunch become an event and something you plan your day around (at least I do haha).

    The regular eating is so much better for your metabolism and I know how important breakfast is – when I’m on holiday a lovely hotel breakfast becomes a staple. The same goes for snacking on fruit, especially when you’re on a summer holiday, a couple of pieces of fruit every day becomess routine, it’s not unusual to pack a few snacks in your bag in case hunger strikes. It’s a simple habit that when I’m at home I just forget to prepare for and I know blood sugar is a trigger for my migraines so this is yet another healthy holiday that really is worth bringing home with me.

    READ MORE

    During a two week holiday Ive been known to get lost in a good 7 or 8 books. I say get lost because I do truly get lost in reading and become somewhat of a recluse. I love reading, I find it exceptionally relaxing and enjoy a great story for a touch of escapism. Yet once again when I’m back home in my usual daily work routine, I just don’t make time, I don’t have the mental space or energy to dedicate to reading. I’ve had six books sat waiting to be read since the beginning of this year, and despite packing them in my bag each day to read on my commute or during some non existent lunch break, I’ve not opened one of them until I’ve got away on holiday.

    It’s really something I want to prioritise more when I’m home from this years summer holiday. It’s so good for my mind I need to make sure it’s not just a habit that forms for just a couple of weeks a year, but one I stick to all year around.

    AU NATURAL

    I’ve never really been one to spend too much time getting ready, least not doing my hair. I’ve always admired those that do, but my gosh the time isn’t worth it to me. But despite that more often than not I will dry my hair post washing, and maybe curl it on a weekend or for a special occasion. On holiday all care goes out the window, especially on a summer holiday when the heat of the air drys my hair in an instant, the salt in the sea gives it a natural wave and the sweat endured from a hairdryer is an unbearable thought. Despite the drying effects of a summer break,  my hair often gets to be entirely natural which actually means I come with soft and naturally lightened locks, rather than a frazzled affair from too much styling! 

    MOISTURISE RELIGIOUSLY

    And whilst my hair styling and beauty focus goes out the window while I’m away, with au natural the preferred hair and beauty approach. My skincare routine goes the opposite way. You’ll be disgusted to know I am a non moisturiser 90% of the year, but that 10% of time when I’m away on holiday I moisturise like a goddess. With sun tan lotion top ups all day long on the beach and post shower and pre bed moisture smothering, my skin has never been so looked nourished than when I’m away on holiday. Not just my body skincare routine, my facial skincare routine is also heightened as I spend more time using all my lotions and potions day and night, not to mention ditching makeup for SPF tinged moisturiser!

    Whilst I can’t promise to bear a makeup free look everyday at work, the daily moisturising and religious daily skincare routine is one I definitely need to embrace, simply dedicating a little more time in the morning and evening so that I can commit to a little more routine with my skincare.

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    It’s all to easy to fall back into the work regime and forget about the healthy, happy you from holidays! But these five simple routines are so easy to bring back into daily life they just need a little bit of effort and commitment but can make all the difference to your wellbeing! I for one am going to be trying to bring these back with me after my holidays in Greece, plus the ‘scenic route’ approach you always have on holiday! Getting out more, walking more, and generally being more active. Here’s hoping it sticks back in the UK.

  • NEW HEALTHY RITUALS: THE BENEFITS OF TAKING THE SCENIC ROUTE

    NEW HEALTHY RITUALS: THE BENEFITS OF TAKING THE SCENIC ROUTE

    NEW HEALTHY RITUALS

    Taking The Scenic Route

    One of the huge benefits of finally having some good weather, and not just the odd day, but a few good weeks none the less, is finally feeling some motivation and desire to get outside. The hay fever has been a challenge but regardless this sunshine has really inspired me to get out and about a little more.

    Often by the time I leave the office after a day at work I want nothing more than to crash out on the sofa and chill, the gym became a write off given my long days and lack of energy (I’m still grappling with this now), but somehow an evening stroll into Richmond to pick up some grocery’s, or a weekend walk to go for lunch on the river front followed by a scenic walk home through Richmond park has started to become a new healthy routine.

    I’ve been really enjoying strolling into town for a coffee and then taking a walk with Jase or my friends. In fact this weekend we had Ruby come to stay and it gave us even greater excuse to get out and about, and without really trying we’ve started to do 5 or 6 miles every time.

    It’s not quite the cardio my oversized body desperately needs, but it’s definitely better than nothing.

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    . MANGO LINEN DRESS . TOPSHOP BASKET BAG .

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    I’ve not yet felt a shift in my fitness and sadly not my dress size (really wanting to tackle this but struggling to get on it – I feel like I have so far to go, I just can’t seem to start), but my mind feels clearer and I’ve really been enjoying just getting out and walking. I’m not so good at aimless walks, but knowing I can wonder to the village, grab a coffee and take a scenic walk home has been really motivating.  It’s just a bonus that it seems to add up to 5 or 6 miles each time.

    It’s also really made Richmond feel even more like home. I may have been here for 10 years already now, but the last month I’ve felt more settled than ever before. Jase and I typically leave the city on the weekend, and whilst I miss going home to my family so frequently, spending more time in our home, in our local area and creating those lovely weekend rituals has been really good for us & made me feel content in a whole new way.

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    Do you have any healthy rituals or routines in your life that just seem to bring you some joy? I’d also love all your tips and motivation for getting back in shape (SOS).

  • LITTLE COPING MECHANISMS TO HELP YOU DEAL WITH EVERYDAY STRESS

    LITTLE COPING MECHANISMS TO HELP YOU DEAL WITH EVERYDAY STRESS

    COPING WITH EVERYDAY STRESS

    The tricks I’ve learnt to use when i’m feeling a little under pressure

    Every now and then my work life balance fails considerably, even if i’m not in the office until 11pm, the stress and pace of the day will wipe me out and leave me asleep on the sofa by 9pm. It’s those busy times at work when I can forget to look after myself quite so well, I revert to carb loaded dinners because I’ve not had time to eat all day, I don’t give my mind a rest and generally I just forget to drink water, exercise & spend time calming my mind and body. Ironically, it’s the time I need looking after the most.

    In those moments and periods of time when you need to deal with everyday stress and not let it become overwhelming or a big issue, I’ve found a few little things that help keep me going, sane and fighting off the dreaded migraines which always hit when i’m internalising my stress.

    Some of my tactics are really simple things which seem to all add up and help me relax, others are bigger things which I have to dedicate a little energy to, but overall they help me cope with the everyday stress work and life throws at me. I hope they might help you too.

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    LITTLE COPING MECHANISMS TO KEEP YOU GOING

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    SMELL

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    First of all, when I start to feel a little stressed, I also find that my neck and shoulders start to seize up (and if I don’t tackle it quickly can lead to migraines). As such I have a little Aspinal makeup bag which my sister bought me for Christmas which is packed with four key things that I always have with me; my This Works stress check breath in oil (I also use the pillow spray at night), a jar of tiger balm which I smother myself in (shoulders, neck, behind my ears, all the points where I cary tension), 4head which I find really helps relax my head (I actually recommend it for migraine sufferers too, whilst nothing makes them go away, this soothes the pain), and finally an Olbas oil inhaler. It might sound weird, but all of these products really help relax my body and mind, whether it’s placebo or not the smells work wonders.

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    LISTEN

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    Another thing I find really helps me relax is piano music. I am not a big music ‘follower’ much more of an eclectic consumer of it, but one thing I do really enjoy in moments of stress is piano. I find it really soothing and calming and along with my smelly products, takes me to the zen like atmosphere of a spa. Sometimes if i’ve had a really bad day when I get in I just lay down for 10 minutes with some piano playing out. And if it’s not piano, nature sounds. Rain and storms especially I find really calming. Don’t ask why.

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    WALK

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    I often find it impossible to leave the office at lunch time, but I know the wonders of a 5 minute break, and even better a 5 minute break outside walking. It’s hard to stop what you’re doing simply to walk, but not only is it wonderfully therapeutic, you’ll also find you’re very productive when you’re walking, and often tackle some of those big challenges you’re grappling within seconds. When you don’t have time to make exercise and the gym a regular thing then the little breaks simply to walk are key.

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    ESCAPE

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    I don’t mean literally run away, but escapism after work is key to ensure my mind switches out of work and into chill. Reading and movies are my go to way to escape. Sometimes all I want is to get in my PJ’s, lay on the sofa with a blanket and put on Harry Potter or one of my favourite feel good, easy watch movies which require no thinking as i’ve watched them so many times, but are guaranteed to take me to a happy place. Reading can sometimes require the brain power I don’t quite have left, but if i’m feeling awake then a good book is heavenly to sink away into.

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    HAPPY PLACE

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    It’s really good to have some happy places you can turn to. Heading home, my light & airy Bedroom & Soho Farmhouse are a few of mine. When things are really busy and stressful, sometimes relocating yourself can do wonders for the mind. Of course I can’t just jump in the car and drive to the farmhouse in the middle of the day when I’m mad busy at work, so planning trips on the weekend gives me something to look forward to, and having a happy place near home or near the office is really helpful to spend some time at – even if you just work remotely for an hour or two. Sometimes a change of location can really help shift the dial in your mood.

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    BREAK IT DOWN

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    Finally, i’m a list maker. To do lists keep me sane, I have over 46 pages of lists on my iPhone. It may stress other people out, the thought of so many pages of things to do or remember, but actually for me, writing things down helps remove it from my brain and capture it somewhere secure. Whatever your vibe, simply find a way to break it all down, chunk things up into manageable tasks and set yourself bursts of time to do each bit. And most of all, don’t panic if you get behind or don’t get time to do it, start the next day with a fresh list and start again.

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    I hope you might have found some of these little tricks helpful if you too find yourself suffering with everyday stress like I often do. I’d love to know the little tricks you have to keep yourself going? 

  • BEING PRESENT & IN THE MOMENT WHEN YOU’RE CONSTANTLY CHASING FUTURE GOALS

    BEING PRESENT & IN THE MOMENT WHEN YOU’RE CONSTANTLY CHASING FUTURE GOALS

    THE HERE, THE NOW, THE PRESENT

    How To Stay Present When You’re Constantly Chasing The Future 

    I’ve just started reading the book Sapiens, and even 30 pages in my mind is already boggled by not only the history of our being that I wasn’t truly aware of (I highly recommend reading the history of Homo Sapiens … fascinating) , but even more so by the reality of our incessant goal chasing and the ‘more more more’ reality we’ve very clearly made for ourselves. I’m only at the beginning of this beast of a book and it’s enlightening … and not necessarily in a good way.

    The reality is we do always look for more. We forget all to often to live in the present, be grateful for what we have (big and small), appreciate the moment, those around us, what we’ve achieved. We’re driven by what’s next, what’s new, what’s more.

    It’s a reality I can associate with. And it’s one I don’t like.

    Whether it’s my personal career and my continued ambition and drive to achieve new goals, hold new positions and tick off new career milestones. I am fully aware my ambition in my career is and will always be relentless … I don’t feel it’s okay to stop and sit on my laurels, there’s always more to learn, more to do, more to prove and more roles to take on up the career ladder.

    I can even see the ‘renovation pipe dream’ stopping Jase and I from appreciating the moment, being grateful for what we have as our first home, as we plan our renovation – you can’t help but fall into a future focussed living where you’re constantly looking at what you’ll have, what you want, instead of what you have right now. Jase in particular can get into a more pessimistic mindset as a result.

    It’s why mindful living, focussing on your present, living in the moment and finding calm is just so so important. In a world where we’re running at 40 mph everyday, we must find ways for ourselves to mentally and physically slow down … don’t rush away our years, before we’ve had them, and not race to achieve when really being truly happy is what counts.

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    SHOP THE LOOK

    . MANGO BLAZER . AND OTHER STORIES JEANS . COS TEE . OLD MANGO PUMPS . CHLOE FAYE BACKPACK .

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    I’ve spent the last few years really trying to live a little more mindfully, and living in the present is critical to that. I always take note of things i’m happy for, I try to keep calm (i’m actually also reading the book Calm at the same time … read into my book selections as you will), I focus on the positives always (i’m a natural optimist which helps) and I really do try to retain perspective at all times. Something I personally believe is imperative for happiness, empathy & integrity.

    Anyway, the point …

    Whilst we’re all ambitious people, we’re all driven, smart & packed with potential to achieve our wildest dreams. I just wanted to remind you, here today, to not forget to live in the moment. Not to rush & constantly put pressure on yourself to achieve RIGHT NOW, not to think you have to do it all immediately, have everything right now, be everything to everyone all the time.

    It’s good to stop, be present, be calm & look after yourself a little more. Life isn’t a race, and once it’s all been and done of course achievement will mark your years, but it’s the memories and happiness that’ll be the most important. Don’t lose track of that on your bid to get to the top, immediately.

  • DEALING WITH FEAR OF FAILURE BEHIND THE SCENES: HOW IT’S AFFECTED MY HEALTH, CAREER & STRESS

    DEALING WITH FEAR OF FAILURE BEHIND THE SCENES: HOW IT’S AFFECTED MY HEALTH, CAREER & STRESS

    A FEAR OF FAILURE

    My Journey Of Coping With Fear Of Failure

    My fear of failure is a blessing and a curse. It’s most definitely been the driver of much of my achievements, but its also been the cause of so much (internally driven) pressure, stress and undoubtedly personal mental and physical health issues I’ve faced.

    I have no idea what exactly I am afraid of. But innately I want to do well, to continually grow and better myself and my achievements and to out do my own expectations. My fear of failure has not really stopped me from going for things in a work capacity or achieving things in my career from a progression point of view (if anything it’s probably been the thing that’s helped me do good work), but it’s certainly deterred me from other things in life or impacted my health along the way.

    For example when I was younger I did amateur slalom racing, but the fear of not doing well or people thinking i wasn’t good enough took all the enjoyment away and stopped me doing it more seriously. I loved playing netball socially and competitively growing up, but I can recall multiple occasions during university matches (when I was captain) and county games where my lack of self belief in my ability caused such sever anxiety pre match. I’d almost not want to play through fear of being rubbish – despite being a member of the team, and in some instances captain. My lowest point was during my teens, the struggles of growing up and the pressure I felt from needing (again, internal driver) to deliver my GCSE grades and A Level grades (and a significant belief I really couldn’t do it) had a very negative impact on my health. Now a days I’m much more self assured, and have taught myself I can do the things that so often I really didn’t believe I could (from getting those GCSE’s, to passing those A Levels with flying colours, to getting into UNI & graduating, getting that job, getting that promotion, and getting it again and again, and again).

    I’ve learnt in sink or swim situations I swim, I pour all my energy, effort and smarts into swimming because sinking is not an option for me. I’ve no doubt this attitude is what has helped me achieve what I have so far in my career, but it’s also no doubt the reason I suffer so immensely with ‘stress’ as an adult. It’s not the type of stress you’d think, i’m not panicked, crying, overwhelmed or visually stressed, in fact if you asked me if I was stressed my answer would be no, i’m actually chilled and in control. But the reality is my body, inside must be stressed, it clearly feels the pressure & demands I put on it. I suffer severely from migraines which naturally worsen the busier I get, and I got diagnosed over a year ago with bowel disease (Ulverative Colitis, the other form being Chrons) which is highly impacted and triggered by stress.

    In large i’m aware of the inner stresses my body can feel, even If emotionally and mentally I do not feel stressed.  The fear of failure is what clearly drives me to keep swimming, but it’s clearly what also eats me up inside.

    But as I said it’s also the thing that can stop me doing things, or do things with a lot of anxiety and stress. In my industry there is an award for rising stars called ’30 under 30′, its a Campaign award and forms part of the media week awards (one of the biggest award ceremonies in our industry). I’ve been asked to enter it many a time, i’ve achieved a lot in this industry by the age of 29, and so I understand why I might make a good candidate. I’ve never entered. I’ve always said no when asked. Why … i’ve come to realise that the fear of not being shortlisted and not winning would be so detrimental to my self esteem, my self confidence and the worse of all my fear of what other people would think of me, that I’ve just not wanted to enter or even put myself forward for consideration. The thought of people thinking I was good, then that being shattered when I don’t succeed at an industry judged award is petrifying. It’s a matter of self preservation.

    After continually shying away from all forms of self PR beyond just delivering in my job and wanting to deliver my best (which by the way is not that common, there are plenty of others in my company and industry who’s career journeys are littered and adorned with awards and recognition at every step of the way, their PR wagon is in full swing and working), I was recently asked again to enter another award. My instinct was to say no. The award was another Campaign media award named ‘Women Of Tomorrow’. It’s an award given to future female leaders and acts as a celebration for females in our industry. I loved what it stood for, and that it was less about age & achievement and more about all round worthiness.  But in putting myself forward, with the support and request of my CEO and COO, was a huge opportunity to open myself to judgement, for failure. It made me feel vulnerable.

    I planned not to let my company enter me. But then, whilst snowed in during my recent trip to Val D’isere in a fleeting moment, on the day of submission, I decided to go ahead. For two reasons largely, firstly no one apart from those asking me to enter new (a protection blanket to me – no mass humiliation if I didn’t get shortlisted), secondly it wasn’t about age (and in my position within my company I didn’t really want to highlight my age through fear of it being an issue relative to my seniority & position internally. Perhaps people would think I wasn’t worthy of my role? – something I do know deep down is madness and only a personally held concern). Plus I loved that it was a celebration of women in our industry … So I got submitted.

    Last week I found out I have been shortlisted. EEEEE. This week I’m required to complete an interview Q&A which may get published. Next week I will go forward for face to face interviews with a series of judges before a decision is made on this years winners of Women of Tomorrow.

    I feel exceptionally proud to be shortlisted, delighted in fact. But I also feel sick to the bottom of my stomach with anxiety for putting myself out there, for opening myself to judgement and being vulnerable to failing at the next hurdle.

    If I were talking to my daughter I would smother her with cuddles and tell her to stop being so silly. That nothing will undermine my career achievements to date, that industry recognition is lovely but not the only determining factor of ones worth, ability or successes. And that to be a winner or not, to be shortlisted is something to be vehemently proud of. In fact, to put myself out there, when I know it’s the thing that fills me with the most dread, anxiety and vulnerability, is a huge personal achievement that I should be proud to have achieved regardless of any outcome. It may sound silly as someone who is actually very confident and outgoing, it may also be a surprise given the vibe I put out there and my general career attitude and focus, but it’s the internal mental grapples that no one sees, the fear of failure that drives me and that I’ve fought with forever that is actually more of my personality than many people know or realise.

    –

    Fear of failure is a blessing and a curse. But what I’ve always tried to do, is not let it stop me. Instead to accept it, nurture those thoughts & feelings, address and look after the anxious side of myself, and to carefully let my more driven side crack on.

  • THE (NOT JUST) JANUARY HEALTH KICK: MY APPROACH TO MAKING HEALTHY HABITS IN 2018

    THE (NOT JUST) JANUARY HEALTH KICK: MY APPROACH TO MAKING HEALTHY HABITS IN 2018

    THE JANUARY HEALTH KICK

    Simple Healthy Habits I’m Starting This New Year

    January is always a time for drastic health goals and ‘new year new me’ ambitions. I’ve typically fallen into the overly ambitious new years goals myself, especially when it comes to diet and fitness (I mean just go back and read my old new years posts and you’ll see for yourself). Of course I usually failed from day dot when it came to my 5 days a week gym promise and nothing but vegetables to eat. The ambition is always too high and we simply set ourselves up to fail, I’m pretty sure i’m not alone in this.

    This January I wanted to leverage the new years motivation in order to kick start some healthier habits, but I didn’t want them to be so drastic I’d fall at the first hurdle. Especially because week three is being spent in the alps where fromage and vin rouge are free flowing morning, lunch and dinner. The perfect opportunity to fall dramatically off the wagon.

    I also wanted to introduce some healthier habits, not just for the jean size mission (this year has to be the year I finally get back to my ‘happy’ weight and size), but also for my health more generally which is why I wanted them to stick beyond January. Living with UC means I do have to be slightly more conscious about what I put in my body, and it’s fair to say that in 2017 I didn’t really look after myself the best I could have. Don’t get me wrong, I tackled stress head on, but this year is definitely the year for healthy gut as well as healthy mind.

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    My healthy habits are relatively simple really, and ultimately ladder up to fuelling my body in the right way.

    Food wise I am cutting down dairy and meat and working harder to reduce my gluten intake.  It may sound extreme but with my bowel issues it’s pretty important for me. A nutritionist friend suggested dairy is certainly one to avoid given my UC problems and I already look to cut gluten as i’m intolerant anyway. I’ve already noticed a marked improvement in my UC when I’m eating more of a vegetable based diet and Anna Jone’s latest cookbook has been a great source of inspiration (as has Jamie Olivers website – he has some fab vegetarian dishes). From bean and lentil chill con carnes, sweet potato curries to lots of fish and greens, I love this food anyway, but reducing meat and dairy in my cooking has been a cherry on top. I’m by no means planning on being vegan, but a reductarian more sums it up!

    Exercise wise i’ve vowed to get more active (classic new years plea to myself, but this year it’s not a half hearted attempt but more an acceptance exercise is key). I’m planning on walking more but also finally getting my butt to the gym on a regular basis. I do find it hard to start getting back into shape when I’m so out of it now, but I want to get back my passion for sport that I used to have so that exercise doesn’t feel like a chore anymore. I really want to try and hit 3 sessions a week, and by my 30th birthday in April I want to be back in a healthy and happy place with my body and size (which based on the last time I stood on the scales means just under 2 stone to shred). I’m fed up of looking at myself, photos, and milestones and not being happy with the way I look, or restricting myself from having fun because i don’t want to show my body or i feel conscious of what I look like! I don’t want to put too much pressure on myself by committing to the same gym routine week on week, as I know my lifestyle doesn’t allow for this, instead by whatever means possible I just want to ensure that three times a week i’ve got active.

    And finally, rest! I’ve finally given into the fact that I really do need 8 hours sleep a night. Tiredness, along with a ton of other triggers is one of my big migraine triggers, so getting the right amount of rest, relaxation and sleep is key. Baths have also proven a wonderful way to relieve my neck tension – another migraine trigger I get. It’s so easy to fall into a netflix marathon and hit the hay around 12pm, but in reality 10pm is when I know I need to start the night time routines if I want to wake up fresh. So this year I plan to spend a little more time on ‘me’ for my health, but hope it has positive consequences on my body and mind as a result.

    –

    Now i’ve shared my plans there’s no back tracking. There’s something quite commital about writing things down and sharing them with you all! I appreciate these sound like quite a-typical and generic resolutions, but the dfiference this year is the motivation and the why, not just the what! I’d love to hear about your resolutions or commitments to yourself? Also if you have any great recipes for a ‘reductarian’ lifestyle i’d love to hear them.

     

  • LEARNING TO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF: THREE HABITS TO HELP IMPROVE YOUR WELLNESS

    LEARNING TO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF: THREE HABITS TO HELP IMPROVE YOUR WELLNESS

    LEARNING TO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF

    Is It Time you Started taking More Care of Yourself?

    If you’ve been reading my blog for a while then you’ll have no doubt seen a good few posts in the last few years about my health, my quest towards a better work life balance, and importantly my desire to get more active, less stressed & generally live a little more mindfully. One thing i’d say is that I’m very good at talking about the things I know I need to do to improve my health, but in reality, less good at committing to them! Of course I’ve made improvements, I’ve managed to find a better balance with work and me time, i’ve slowly started to get de-stressed through my yoga and pilates and i’m certainly more considered with my social diary (#notsorry), but I have a long way to go.

    After suffering from yet another migraine this weekend (frustratingly at one of my best friends weddings too) it was then my friends, jase and even my friends parents commented on how poorly I look after myself!

    Initially I was thrown. I mean I felt like I had made such big improvements that surely I was looking after myself better now than ever! But truthfully when I dug a little deeper, they had a point! Despite living with bowl disease I realised I hadn’t taken my daily and life long medication for the last two weeks. Let alone actually adapt my diet to help my symptoms (and stop saying yes to gluten filled goodies which I know I shouldn’t eat). Despite knowing about my friends wedding for over a year, I still had a last minute panic due to a sheer lack of organisation (giving myself time is not something I’ve learnt yet). Yes my yoga helps but the tensions i face require far more action than I take, not to mention some actual cardio to shed this 1.5 stones which I fundamentally hate). And at nearly thirty years old I still have not managed to suitably water and feed myself … having breakfast is one change I am making immediately. You get the picture?

    Put simply it’s the basic care I seem to forget about. Drinking enough water, looking after my bad tummy, giving myself time to rest, fuel myself and prepare for the things I need to do! Don’t get me wrong I’m not starving and living in debt, it’s more just that healthy lifestyle that I know I need to give myself and prioritise.

    So with that in mind. Here I go again with my acknowledging of the situation and my promises to sort things out! I’m confident I can do it, and I have three healthy habits already in mind which I truly hope will make a difference. To me, and maybe even you too, because I’m sure I’m not the only one right?

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    THREE HEALTHY HABITS I’M COMMITTING TO

    Small Steps To Better Look After Yourself 

     

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    MY SLEEP ROUTINE

    –

    I’m sure I’m not alone with the morning struggle. For me most mornings look like a 45 minute snooze, a mad panic to get my train, and a sweaty sprint to the office, usually resulting in a 40 minute late arrival. I’ve tried to be better, but I can’t. I am constantly tired in the morning. I barely function before 10am and the thought of getting up with time to have breakfast, a cup of tea and maybe even a 20 minute work out is laughable.

    But one thing I’ve realized is that this morning routine is setting me off to a bad start everyday.

    First of all it’s not helping stabilize my blood sugars which I know hinders my migraines, it’s certainly not helping me balance my work life balance with my constant lateness, and really it’s not eliminating stress, it’s adding it.

    I’m not going to promise myself a 6am start, a morning yoga session and a hearty breakfast every morning because I know I won’t deliver on it. But what I am promising myself is a better bed time. I’m going to start hitting the hay at 10:30pm so I really am getting a good amount of sleep. I’m going to give myself an hour to get ready in the morning – it will mean waking up earlier, but it will importantly mean I have time, time to do whatever I need to do! And I’m going to start having breakfast …

    –

    MY DIET

    –

    Which leads me to healthy habit number two. My diet.

    Now i’ll start by saying this: Generally speaking I am a very very healthy eater so ‘diet’ is a funny one for me. However the regularity of my eating and my evening portion sizes are an issue. I also am not the most religious person regarding my need to cut our gluten, which clearly isn’t helpful especially given my UC. And Alcohol is also a sore topic.

    I’ll start with the first issue which is my regularity. As mentioned breakfast is non existent. I’ll run on coffee until mid day before hitting starvation around 2pm. And my evening meal is what I live for, which inevitably means I eat a portion for 4 people (a healthy meal, but probably way too much)! I’ve never eaten breakfast, i’m not hungry until 11am earliest, I don’t have time and I don’t really want to eat more (I know I know, stupid mentality). However I’m starting to come around to the idea that breakfast could be quite a simple solution to not only my energy problems but also my migraines AND my desired weight loss (according to theory). So I’m committing to some breakfast alongside my daily coffee, starting today!

    Secondly, gluten! Now gluten has become a rather hot topic in the last few years, it’s an ingredient that almost seems fashionable to cut out. But trust me when I say embrace gluten if you can! I’m intolerant, not celiac, but was advised to pretty much cut it out 6 years ago. I would say on average I lead a 85% gluten free diet (i’ve never eaten bread on the regular, it’s pasta and sausages that let me down), but I am renowned for over indluging on special occasions! The problem with that is that special occasions can become regular, and before I know it i’m doubled up with stomach issues! Add to that the problem of bowl disease, it’s fair to say i’ve not customized my diet to better help my problems! A friend at work is a nutritionist and was gobsmacked I hadn’t been advised to change my diet after being diagnosed with UC, so with her help i’m hoping to make some positive changes to what I eat, and not just how often!

    And finally alcohol. It’s been a problem since I first discovered it. I’ve never been able to properly digest it (the UC revelation explained A LOT), it makes me exceptionally sick the next day (and I mean really sick) and it also makes me fat. However, I enjoy it, I love the process of celebrating with fizz or enjoying a bottle of wine with my friends and my job means social events and parties are a regular! This isn’t about cutting out alcohol, but it’s about being careful, being hydrated enough to tolerate it, and choosing my drinks and quantities carefully to avoid a day spend in bed worrying I might not make it through.

    Oh and water. I must must must drink more bloody water.

    –

    MY TIME

    –

    I’m the girl that’s always late. For everything. I’ll be late to my wedding and my funeral i’m certain. I am terrible. I’d like to blame my mum as we’ve always been late, but the truth is i’m old enough to manage my time better and i’m still useless. I never allow enough time, I always end up running behind and I am constantly stressed as a result.  but it’s not just that … it’s prioritizing time for exercise, time for myself, time out with Jase! It’s saying No to protect my time. It’s saying yes to myself and my own time needs.

    The irony is I am very organised and time proficient at work (it’s something people often comment on), but it’s almost like I use all my energy up inside the office and so my time management outside of work falls by the wayside. I commit so much time and energy to my career (I have got much better at this I should say). I often forget to prioritize that time to go to the gym, or to actually relax before work starts, or rest, or run my errands, or simply fit in a massage every now and then!

    I am a total contradiction in and outside of my work when it comes to time, getting things done & running a tight ship!

    My personal life, but more specifically ‘my life’, is always what slips. And I know I need to change this! My #NotSorry revelation was a revolution, but there’s more I must do to give myself the time I need to be mindful, well, healthy and balanced. The morning and bed time routine is part of it. But perhaps a little being a little more demanding and protective of my personal time is what I need to do! If only just to give myself time to actually look after myself! And just time out, time on the weekend to do nothing, time away from the blog, away from work, away from others demands, time to just sit, walk, potter and be! More time at the beach …

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    It’s a funny topic, one I’d love to know if you relate to or not. Most my friends around me are totally together and have a wonderful and much more healthy lifestyle and balance. Whether it’s a regular morning routine, a healthy gym habit or a better perspective and balance as a result. Yes I have good career success, but do I have good heath? No! Not even close! And really what is life without good health? I’ve accepted the truth, and I’m going to start trying to make improvements today!